9/11 widow speaks of the day her life changed forever

Ten years ago the 9/11 terrorist attacks directly changed thousands of lives forever - from the families of those who died, to people who were actually in the Twin Towers when the planes struck. To commemorate the event, we have spoken to two victims to hear their stories of that fateful day.

“It was the not knowing,” says Karin Charles. “Not knowing for days, was he alive or wasn't he? I hoped that he would be somewhere, that somehow he would come back home as usual.”

Karin's husband, Kenneth Zelman, 37, was among the 2,753 people killed in the World Trade Centre on 11 September 2001. “I was taking care of the kids and a friend called me. She started asking 'Where's Ken?' I explained he was at work,” says Karin.

“'Do you have the TV on?' she asked. As I switched it on my heart sank. Then when he hadn't come home after three days, and they hadn't found anyone else in the hospitals, I realised he was gone.”

Karin, 41, now lives in Boston and is a stay-at-home-mum to five children: Olivia, 13, and Ethan, 11, from her marriage to Ken and Victoria, 4, Amelia, 3, Zander, 1, from her current husband, London born careers coach, Dennis. She continues: “The hardest thing was telling Olivia. How can you tell a three-year-old child that her daddy isn't coming home? 

“It's something that nobody should really have to go through. Then you think that at least 3000 people had to deal with this.”

We rewind to 11 September 2001, a sunny day in New York City.

Karin says: “Ken was working for Oracle. Businesses would purchase Oracle software and Ken would be stationed with them on a temporary basis, could be two months, could be up to a year to help them implement the software.

“At the time of 9/11, he was with a company called Marsh and McLennan in the World Trade Centre. He was on the 99th floor that day.

“It's hard to imagine that ten years has gone by so quickly, it feels like it has only just happened.

“Ken had a wicked sense of humour and everybody commented on his great smile. He was really family orientated, he couldn't wait to get home from work to see the kids. He was a really happy person.

“I very much miss and love Ken, but I am very happy in the life that I have now, so it's hard to articulate it without wishing my life away, because I have children and a wonderful husband whom I wouldn't have had.”

“I was a single parent and it was up to me to make sure my kids were raised well. I could have sat in the corner and cried myself to sleep every night. But I decided to be a model for Olivia and Ethan on how to handle this unusual situation in which we can mourn the loss of their dad, but at the same time be strong and live our lives.”

“It's bittersweet that they didn't really get to know their father personally, they know him through videos, photos and stories. Especially Ethan because he was only one year old at the time.

“It is a little easier as time goes by, but of course it is getting dredged back up again now because of the ten year anniversary, and dealing with it publicly is awkward. It is interesting to have that responsibility and I am happy to do it because it makes Ken more of a person, he's not just a name or number.

“For 9/11 this year, we are going back to New Jersey to spend time at a friend's house. It's low-key and that's just what seems right for us at this time.

Karin married her current husband, Dennis, in summer 2004. She says: “It's OK to move on. I'm sure that's what Ken would want me to do. I know it's a cliché. But why have more than his life sacrificed because of this? Dennis is very respectful and open to keeping Ken's spirit alive within our home and that means a lot to me.”

Related link: We also spoke to Janice Brook, who was in the World Trade Centre’s South Tower when the planes struck. To read her recollection of the events click here.