Maserati's Ghibli S Q4 sparkles, bellows and dazzles. But is it any good?

I'll just go ahead and get this out of the way. If you want the best European sports sedan around, you want the Mercedes-AMG C63 S. You just do.

The C63 S is modern, well-packaged and precise. It has supercar-like acceleration and can kinda drive itself. That said, it's not very exciting. Even though it has Merc's silver star on the grille, no one looks at the C63 S and says, "Whoa, would you look at that?"

Instead, they think, "My, that dentist's car is rather grumbly." That's because the AMG looks like a mid-size silver sedan. It's like the vehicular embodiment of a silver jumpsuit. You know, like the ones everyone will be wearing in the future.

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What if you're interested in something a bit more exciting, then? What if you want a car that will tease out the envy of others and make them question their life choices? Then let me introduce you to the Maserati Ghibli.

Image: Nick Jaynes/Mashable

At first blush, the car seemed very impressive indeed. It has an exotic logo and around town it feels very taut and planted. Between stoplights, the brakes feel big and grabby like it's prepared for some truly high speeds. And, at first ignition, the engine has a bit of a menacing drone to it.

The more time I spent with the Ghibli, though, the less and less impressed I became with it.

First of all, I don't think it's very good looking. To me it looks like an Infiniti that some left in the sun too long. But that's just my taste. Some people love the way it looks. So I can't fault it too much.

The interior isn't much better, from a packing standpoint. The trunk is massive — large enough to fit approximately 11 golf bags. However, this leaves barely enough backseat room to accommodate two small children. Although the Ghibli is not a short-roofed sedan, my head rubbed against the headliner — even with the seat lowered to the floor. I honestly have no idea who it was designed for, in terms of layout. Maybe a very lonely, very wealthy golfer? Tiger Woods, perhaps.

Image: Maserati

Ignoring packaging, I do like the look of the interior. The dash is chunky and masculine and, in the case of my press demonstrator, covered in a supple blood-red leather. That said, the stuff fitted to the dash totally ruined the bossy Italian charm established by the design.

Maserati is owned by Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA). As such, the Ghibli features the same switchgear as Jeep, Dodge and Chrysler vehicles. The ignition button, for example, which is on the left side of the steering wheel for some reason, is the same as a $17,000 Dodge Dart. So, too, is the 8-inch navigation screen, which runs a version of FCA's Uconnect infotainment system.

Uconnect is decidedly a good system, as it's both fast and hugely intuitive. But it looks like Internet 1.0. That's fine in a rough-and-tumble Jeep. But it's eyebrow raising — and not in a good way — in a $87,750 luxury sedan. Though, I suspect people don't buy the Ghibli for its tech. I presume people buy it for the allure of its Italian powertrain. So let's discuss that.

Behind Ghibli's envy-inducing emblem is a twin-turbo 330-horsepower V6 engine. What the engine lacks in equilibrium-rending speed, compared to its German and English rivals, it makes up for with an exhaust note that sounds like someone turned a trumpet into a blunderbuss.

It's not a great sound. In fact, I noticed it sometimes made passersby grimace like they'd walked into a waft of hot garbage vapors. You know, that face when you arch your nostrils, wrinkle your nose and expose your upper teeth. That said, it is loud. And there's something to be said for that. Loudly-ness is next to godliness.

That engine is mated to an 8-speed automatic transmission built by the Germans. As such, it's very good. However, it's controlled by a finicky and counterintuitive shifter. In fact, Chrysler vehicles fitted with this some shifter have been recalled because it's hard to get into Park. Accordingly, it's causing crashes and injuries in Chrysler and Jeep vehicles. For some reason, the same shifter in the Ghibli has not also been recalled by Maserati. Lord knows why.

The questionable styling, cheap trim and loud and oft infuriating drivetrain aside, perhaps what irked me most about the car was its chassis and handling. Simply put, the Ghibli fell down when forced to perform about half as sportily as it looks.

Heading out for a spirited Sunday drive in the Malibu mountains, I thought to myself, "All of my concerns will be nullified if this thing drives the way its perceived: like a four-door Ferrari." Sadly, it doesn't.

Instead, as I lobbed it into the corners, I found it handles like a frozen stick of butter. It's hard at first. If you sit with it a minute, though, it'll get all sorts of soft and gooey. It under-steered like grandpa's Lincoln and the brakes gave up the ghost faster than an opossum on a crowded highway at dusk.

Image: Nick Jaynes/Mashable

Despite all this silliness, I see the Ghibli all over Los Angeles. They must account for every one in twelfth car in Hollywood. The only reason I can fathom they're so popular is the sheer boringness of the rest of the luxury sports sedan market.

Sure, the new BMW M3 is breaking lap records and the C63 S growls like a lion, but they're also super clinical cars. No matter how exacting they are, no German sedan can escape the fact it was designed by men who dream of inventing new shades of gray.

As a result, they lack zazz, panache and flare. Yes, I know those are buzzwords stupid people use to sound smart (guilty as charged). However, they also carry lots of weight for some buyers — especially in a flashy city like LA. Sometimes you just want a car that will give strangers an involuntary, visceral reaction — whether it's salivate with envy or sneer as your car's exhaust blasts their eardrums apart.

Image: Nick Jaynes/Mashable

For as imperfect a car as it is, and it is wholly imperfect, the Ghibli does just that. It sparkles, it bellows and it dazzles. 

Right now, it's the most evocative luxury sports sedan you can buy. That is, until the Alfa Romeo Giulia goes on sale and steals that title. For now, though, the Ghibli can still wear the big, garish crown.

2016 Maserati Ghibli

The Good

Chunky, stylish interior styling • Blood-red leather interior • An emblem that makes passersby green with envy

The Bad

Faux sporty driving dynamics • Pretty ugly • Dodge Dart switchgear

The Bottom Line

Although it's not a great sports sedan, Maserati's Ghibli is by far the most in vogue car in its segment, which makes it apparently very attractive.