No one messes with you when you’re driving a Chelsea Tractor – and nine other reasons I won’t give mine up
Crawling along at a snail’s pace, I try to block out the flurry of horns tooting their irritation as I slowly inch down a congested side street. After all, one wrong move and someone else’s paintwork – and my insurance – will bear the brunt.
Such is the price of owning one of the 2.9 million four-wheel drives (or 4x4s) on our roads today. Yet despite being insulted in 50 shades of blue for driving a so-called Chelsea tractor – as I was on this occasion – I don’t regret a single gas-guzzling moment.
Technically, my monster motor is no longer needed for the brief which triggered the purchase of my Volvo XC90 16 years ago. Back then, the lure was purely practical – I needed a workhorse to accommodate the domestic demands of our family of six (school runs, holidays, rotas). But even though our four children have now left home, I’d never voluntarily get rid of the car. Even when blanching at the price of the fuel it hungrily consumes or cursing my inability to find a parking space.
There are countless versions of cars like mine – from off-roaders and sports utility vehicles (SUVs) to cross-over 4x4s and sporty four-wheel drives (hybrid and electric versions are also gaining popularity). What links them is their boxy look, steroidal tyres and don’t-take-me-on image.
Unfortunately, thanks to a combination of lazy stereotyping, concerns for the environment and good old-fashioned jealousy 4x4 drivers are routinely pilloried. Women drivers are particularly targeted: labelled as flash, stupid, impractical and status-hungry since they have elected to drive a big powerful car in which they may do nothing more demanding than go to the gym.
Who cares? Having a 4x4 has been the drive of my life. And here’s 10 reasons why...
I always feel protected
Let’s start with the sensible stuff. In my car, I really get a strong sense of control and protection. Particularly on motorways since it’s sturdy and robustly built. Living in Manchester, I often find myself cresting the M62, which at its most elevated point is the highest motorway in England. There’s no fear in a 4x4 since four-wheel drive vehicles are exactly what they say; the power is distributed over all four wheels, maximising traction and stability. I should add, there’s also something of a thrill when the wind is pounding, the moorland is brooding and I’m captain of the wheel as I regally power towards, erm, Rochdale.
Road rage confrontations are few and far between...
A 4x4 is big. Huge even. Sure, I get insults when my hulking motor makes it difficult for other cars to squeak by on double-parked streets. But out on the main roads, where smart motorways implausibly cut speed or endless traffic lights stymie journey times, frustration and irritation can lead to aggression. Yet belligerent drivers seem deterred and instead give my big beast a wide berth.
And no battling against the UK’s awful weather
My car is more than a match for our terrible weather. On water-logged dual carriageways, or roads slick with ice my car is still the boss. That’s because the four-wheel drive mechanism provides better traction on slippery roads or uneven surfaces, reducing the risk of losing control. Tell that to a Skoda lover.
No time wasted wandering around a car park
I don’t waste hours in car parks trying to find my motor. When heavy bags and a stressful day fog and fudge the memory, there’s nothing more comforting than being able to spot the soaring rooftop of your 4x4. Only the other day, I emerged from the hell of two hours in the Trafford Centre into slanting rain and a packed car park – triggers for vehicle-locating amnesia. Then I spotted the black roof of my loyal Volvo. I literally felt like crying with relief.
The views!
Ok, so the vista isn’t that beautiful when crawling down a traffic-snarled arterial route. But the high driving position of 4x4’s elevated seat means as a driver (or passenger) the road ahead becomes a big screen. In fact whenever I took my late mother anywhere she used to climb – literally – into the front seat and say she felt like the first officer in an airline cockpit (Mum had a great imagination, bless her). But the point endures. The size of the car means visibility and awareness of those around you is hugely improved – which is vital for road safety and having an early view of potential hazards. It’s also hugely poetic to drive from such an imperious position. When we motor off to the Lake District, and the sweeping fells fan out before us, frankly, it’s like watching the opening credits of an autumn Netflix drama.
The boot
Oh, how I love the boot. It’s capacious and versatile, especially with the back seats down. This morning I literally sailed off to the tip with a smile on my face (bye bye four bursting rubbish bags, one old hoover and a bedside table long due for retirement). Plus 4x4s also have the ability to carry more weight than the typical hatchback without being weighed down, which is ideal if you carry a lot of cargo on a regular basis.
More room for activities
Having that kind of boot space means the car also spells freedom. As the wife of a cycling fan(atic), my husband Martin is always keen to find new routes. And thanks to a collapsible e-bike I can finally keep up with him. So on sunny days, we throw in our bikes and head off-road to wherever the cycle-friendly compass points. Self-catering trips are a breeze too since you can literally pack in the kitchen sink.
No stressful journeys to the airport
You never miss a train or plane. Because when your pre-booked taxi doesn’t show up, there’s no panic about cramming all those suitcases into your car. On one occasion, though our taxi did appear on time, it was clear the hire was not equal to the job of transporting many – many – cases (long story involving visiting my son living abroad and my daughter on her gap year.) With the clock ticking there was no choice but to flip down the seats of my car, load up and make our own way to the airport.
Did I mention it’s big?
Frankly, it’s just much more comfortable. When I step into the roomy cabin of my 4x4 the space seems to expand around me. Everything is so much bigger, wider. From the side pockets to the drink holders. And it has been an absolute blessing with taller members of the family. Not for them folding painfully into their seat space. The head and legroom leave them nothing to complain about (at least when it comes to the car. There’s ALWAYS other stuff to complain about)
Endless shortcut possibilities
It’s more than a match for the sat nav since inaccessibility isn’t in my car’s vocabulary. When the husband, a kind of modern-day Christopher Columbus, suggests that some lumpy side track might clip half an hour of the journey, there’s no hesitation or fretting about the tyres. In short, the world and its shortcuts are ours for the taking.
Be grateful. It keeps me off those congested side streets.