We live in uncertain times, and as the calendar moves from 2021 to 2022, there’s understandable worry about what lies ahead. After everything the world has put us through over the last year or two, what could it possibly have in store for us next?
Thankfully, there’s a friend you can always call on to find out. For some time, the movies have been exploring just what’s going to happen in 2022. And here’s what we’ve got in store in the year ahead.
Read more: What the movies predicted for 2021
The movies wouldn’t lie about any of this stuff, would they?
Scotland will reach the World Cup final
According to: The Tomorrow War
Questions still remain as to just why the football World Cup has shifted to October, how Qatar got the job of hosting it, and let’s just say questions around those two things that our lawyers suggested we ‘steer clear of’. That said, if it’s unusual to see a major football tournament in the autumn, we have the compensation of seeing Scotland reach the final for the first time.
This has been foretold by the 2021 summer blockbuster The Tomorrow War, that in the midst of a time-spanning battle and special effects pushing reality, it found time to reveal that Scotland will be playing Brazil for the trophy.
No spoilers on who wins, though…
Corporations will try and hold Ray Liotta prisoner
According to: No Escape
And woe betide them for trying. This is the year – according to 1994’s No Escape (the film that helped get director Martin Campbell the GoldenEye job) – that corporations will be running the prison system.
It is also the year where they don’t anticipate Ray Liotta trying to escape from one, and whilst the name of the film may suggest one outcome, it’s a bit like calling that Denzel Washington film about the runaway train Unstoppable. We all know the rules.
Someone going through something horrible this year will stand for the highest office in the future
According to: The Purge: Election Year
The central conceit at the heart of the never-ending The Purge series of films is that the government will find new ways to go extreme to basically keep everybody under control. We can confirm that there are precisely no parallels with any living or not living, and the films are a jolly jape designed to, er, give us some escapism.
Note that The Purge: Election Year from 2016 suggests that something is about to be put in motion that’ll affect our lives in the year 2040. That somewhere out there, a young girl called Charlene Roan is watching her family being bumped off. This is a bold, long game prediction Election Year is making though: we learn that in 2040, she’ll then stand to become US President as she channels her rage and sense of injustice. With a bit of luck, I’ll have the commission to write the article that year too, so I’ll start making notes.
Still, there’s an immediate problem that’s not unrelated we need to contend with…
Crime rates will be at a record low
According to: The Purge
Well, this is good news. We’ve got the original The Purge film to thank for this one, as it tells us the crime rate in the US is rock bottom, and unemployment levels too are below 1%. Brilliant!
The problem? Well, it’s achieved because for 12 hours every year, anybody can break the law with no consequence, just like a politician… fictional character. Our top tip here? Get yourself to B&Q and buy a very strong lock. You won’t regret it.
Er, be careful what you eat
According to: Soylent Green
The 1973 science fiction film Soylent Green is infamous for having a trailer that gives away the ending and the twist of the movie. Come at us with complaints that film promotions give too much away today, watch the Soylent Green trailer, and duly reconsider.
If you’ve not seen the film, then best skip this one as we have to go spoiler-y.
Still here? Well, the Charlton Heston-headlined flick paints an entirely unrealistic picture of a world in the midst of a climate catastrophe, where the population has been soaring, where the gap between rich and poor has never been wider, and where the wealthy buy the property and rent it out to the rest of us. Were Heston with us today, he’d surely be chuckling at just how far wide the film got things.
Then there’s the ending. Food supplies are running dry due to – look, this is what happens, we’re not making political points – supply chain issues. The shelves start emptying, food supplies run short. In then steps a major corporation to mass produce a new sort of food. Just, well, don’t eat it if that particular prediction comes true.
Gerard Butler will save us from disaster
According to: Geostorm
Truthfully, given the way The Butler’s film choices are going, we may as well reserve an annual slot for him on this list. Still, 2022 is about to see him tackle his most important work: battling a second Geostorm. As fans of the wildly entertaining 2017 movie will no doubt be aware, the world was struck by the first in 2019, triggering a series of supernatural disasters and special effects around the planet.
Still, the ingenuity of Gerry B saved us when he used something called the (checks notes) Dutchboy to fend it off. Well, this year, the Geostorm is BACK, and this time the Dutchboy system is knackered.
Can he save us again? Surprised you’re even asking…
Watch a trailer for The Tomorrow War