35 Times People Got Incredibly Drunk And Made Incredibly Good Decisions

Drunk people, what else can you say about them? They're a special type of person. I mean...

1.They always go above and beyond for their loved ones:

Caption on a picture of a toad wearing a top hat that reads, "Accidentally bought my toad 100 top hats for my frog instead of one while I was drunk online shopping..."

2.They are unrattleable:

Tweet from Shutts (@Shuttsapalooza) about being kicked out of a casino for being too drunk and jokingly blaming "card counting," causing a bouncer to react strongly

3.They know when they've been beat:

Tweet from Grandmaster Trash recounting an incident where a stranger attempted to open a wine bottle using their shoe but ended up breaking the bottle and apologizing

4.They know how to party:

Tweet from Karami: "Let's not forget when (person) drank my Grandma's olive oil thinking it was alcohol and was flexing it and shit ?‍♀️". Includes images of people holding and drinking olive oil

5.They speak truth:

drunk person who slept in a wheelbarrow

6.They have a way with words:

Text message of someone asking where the other person is and they just reply with a picture of an oyster

7.They're well traveled:

drunk person who buys a ticket to Japan on a whim
Twitter

8.The give great financial tips:

A tweet from @roastmalone_ saying their Uber driver from three weeks ago called for financial advice because they mentioned working at a bank while drunk

9.They're so complimentary:

drunk person who miistakes a confectionary treat for their loved one

10.They ask the tough questions:

person who calls a bird doctor from a bar to find out if hummingbirds have feet
Twitter

11.They appreciate the finer things:

Text post by screamingcrawfish: "My dad is drunk watching Bob Ross & nodding every few seconds going 'interesting' and 'that's a good way of thinking about it Bob'. Update: my dad just sat up a little straighter and said 'all RIGHT, some TREES'."

12.They never get lost:

A tweet humorously describes a lost drunk man identifying his location as "the moon". Four laughing emojis follow. Text includes two large highlighted names
Twitter

13.They take care of themselves:

Tweet reading, "Woke up this morning with a cup of water and a note next to my bed saying 'for hungover me.' I took a sip and it was vodka. Drunk me is such a douche"

14.They have a great fashion sense:

Facebook post of a person wearing bowling shoes with the caption "Never drinking at da bowling alley again. I'm mad WTF I left my Jordans"
Facebook

15.They're master debaters:

A social media post from user scientifrick recounts a story of their uncle and aunt arguing about who would drive home, ending with the aunt chugging a bottle of wine

16.They have great reading comprehension:

Tweet reading, "*my step dad comes in drunk at the end of the night and walks into the kitchen* him: 'what time is it?' *looks at the microwave that has 53 seconds still sitting on it* him again: '53? Fuck that's late'"

17.They have great taste:

A humorous text message exchange: "Brother" asks for a pickup due to being drunk. The reply requests a location, and the brother mistakenly says, "I love that song."

18.They're speedy:

drunk person who speedruns donkey kong in front of a party in 2 hours
Facebook

19.They have beautiful voices:

drunk person who sings One Direction to a tree
Tumblr

20.They love all creatures:

Open fridge door with bottles decorated with googly eyes and drawn-on faces. Text above reads: "My roommate got drunk and did this to our fridge and I'm not even mad."

21.They write beautiful poems:

Twitter: @shminsington

22.They have hearts of gold:

Tweet by peyton (@peytlhaag) reads, "$5 a week has been coming out of my bank for months and I only just realized I adopted a kangaroo named Poppy on New Year's Eve while I was destroyed."

23.They have super-deep thoughts:

Two text posts by user mortuarybees. The first discusses how pigeons are treated unfairly despite humans breeding them as companions. The second says, "I was drunk but right."

24.They are one with technology:

Tweet reading, "My dad last night, completely shitfaced, was trying to get out of the backseat of my car and he gave up, put his head against the car door and said ‘alexa, please get me out of here’WE DONT EVEN HAVE AN ALEXA IN THE FIRST PLACE"

25.They always know how to cook dishes to perfection:

drunk person who cooks food on a clock in the microwave
Facebook

26.They are super responsible:

Text message that reads, "Are you home No at brewskis" and then, "How drunk are you because you just answered yourself"

27.They enjoy the finest of cuisines:

Facebook post of a hunk of cheese that reads, "Dear hungover me, thanks for packing me lunch"

28.They provide:

owlmylove.tumblr.com

29.They're super polite:

A tweet from David (@dw00dz) recounting a humorous story where he apologized to his own reflection in a mirror, thinking it was another person

30.They're going places:

Text message exchange with person 1 saying they left and went home, and person 2 confusedly asking where they are, ending with "Oh, where am I going" from person 2

31.Have I mentioned they're master chefs?

A toaster filled with uncooked bow-tie pasta. Text: "So my brother got blackout drunk the other night. He found this in his toaster the next morning."

32.They're great at improving:

Twitter post by Ohheyohhihello: "Just overheard a girl order a Bloody Mary when apple juice wasn't available, which is very similar to how I make most of my life decisions."

33.They tell no lies:

Tweet by dylan (@dylanceeee) stating: "my drunk ASS boyfriend just asked me ‘who’s the handsomest man in the world’ and I said ‘uh… you?’ and he goes ‘false it’s fucking Ryan Reynolds’"

34.They understand the responsibility of parenthood:

drunk person who hates babies

35.And, finally, they play the best pranks:

Greg Sheffer tweets about changing a friend's phone shortcut leading to an embarrassing text exchange with an Uber ride tainted by frequent "Yes daddy I do" terms