Cuffing season is in full swing, which means single people are on the look out for that Winter Wonderland date who could even last through to New Year.
Trying to find that special someone isn’t easy though when it’s hard to work out people’s true intentions – especially as online chats turns to IRL meets.
Adrianne Carter, also known as the The Face Whisperer, is a big believer in looking at body language when you’re dating. While it’s easily misinterpreted, Carter wants single people to tune into ‘decoding’ these unspoken signs to better understand a date and the unconscious signals they emit.
There are myths about body language to keep in mind, according to Carter.
“One key myth to dispel is the suggestion that first impressions are always right,” she says. “This is not necessarily the case – many first dates can be daunting and when given the opportunity to relax, people tend to show their true selves as you get to know them better.”
Tinder recently asked some of its members to reflect on how they interpret different body language signals, from slouching, to playing with their ear lobes or crossing their legs. Their responses were analysed by Carter who has identified five body language ‘personalities’ to look out for while dating.
The Smooth Operator
This is someone who likes to keep their options open. They can often be seen on a date preening their hair, directing their feet towards others (or the door) and have what appears to be a constant smirk on their face.
The way this dating personality walks is an easy way to identify them, as they have a swagger or strut in their step. Everything’s on their terms – they are often methodical in their approach to dating and are true smooth talkers.
This person can seem aloof and distracted on a date. Their posture might be stiff, they’ll keep their distance physically, and place barriers between themselves and their date, by keeping their chin high or leaning away.
This type has a tendency to arrive late for a date, spending time on their phone, and rarely taking the lead in making date arrangements or shaping the conversation while on the date itself! They’re present in person, but might display behaviours which give off an uninterested or unavailable vibe.
Someone may be acting this way because they genuinely aren’t into you, says Carter – but it might also be their way of trying to ‘play it cool’ or hard to get.
The Grafter is tactile on a date and will make their interest clear by leaning in and gazing intensely at their match. They convey enthusiasm and engagement with a full, upright posture. They put a lot of effort into dating and may come across as too keen, too soon, when trying to win their date over.
However, responsiveness (which might be misunderstood as being too keen) is actually viewed as one of the most attractive qualities by daters, says Carter.
So don’t necessarily discount them – this person tends to instigate dates, ask lots of questions and be eager to please.
This is someone who’s a bit unsure of themselves and is more hesitant when it comes to dating. On a date, they tend to fidget, might have their arms folded and sometimes laugh nervously or blush. They will often avoid eye contact, be a bit awkward and bite their nails or lips.
This dating personality will come across as self-conscious, freeze if asked a question that they don’t know the answer to, or at the other end of the spectrum, be hyperactive and ramble. Some may assume The Overthinker is uninterested, but Carter says they’re maybe just more dependent on other people. Whether this is you or the other person, one way to combat these kind of nerves is to share how you’re feeling on the date.
The Real Deal
This one understands the assignment, and their words and actions are aligned. On a date, their smiles are genuine, they have an open and relaxed posture such as open arms and relaxed shoulders.
The Real Deal maintains the right amount of eye contact to convey they are truly interested, by asking the right questions, listening to your answers and answering your questions, too. They might lean into the other person, relaxed in their posture, or even with a little bit of touching on the upper arm or knees.
Through their open body language, they are likely to give an eyebrow flash to their date to show their keenness for future dates. They’re most likely looking to find common ground with their match by being upfront about what they’re looking for when dating and are the most authentic in their interactions.
Want to find out if your date is going to stick? Keep reading.
The 5 body language signs your date is into you ...
Look out for these signs, says Carter. They could each be very positive – spot two or more and you could be in with a winner.
Eyebrow flash – Eyebrows lift with a smile, show them they are into you!
Double eye contact – Catching someone’s eye, looking away, then looking back again
Licking lips – Makes them glossier and a receptive sign while on a date
Showing forearms – Can be taken as a sign of confidence and strength
Mirroring – When two people are in sync, they often copy each other’s body language.