50 School Jokes That Are Definitely Funnier Than Homework

It has been scientifically proven that jokes are good for the soul! Why not make the school routine just a little easier with some cheesy, light-hearted humor? You'll laugh so hard you might just need a shoulder to CRAYON.

Let's start the school year off right with some epic back-to-school jokes:

1."Why don't scientists trust atoms? Cause they make up everything!"

2."Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!"

—kickypie 

3."How do you cut someone’s arm off in woodworking class? Whittle by whittle."

—jasonhamrick

4."What can you say about a horrible mummy joke? It sphinx!"

5."What do you call a biscuit that is more intelligent than you? A smart cookie."

6."What do you call a detective that accidentally solves crimes? Sheer Luck Holmes."

—StockInitial4460     

7."After stealing all of the punctuation marks from the keyboard, the judges are…expecting a long sentence."

8."I want to tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants. You’ve probably never herbivore."

—gotmojo6         

9."I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"

10."A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame."

—gotmojo6           

11."What do you call a duck that gets straight A's in school? A wise quacker."

12."Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team? Because she kept running away from the ball."

—StockInitial4460               

13."Why were the fish's grades bad? They were all below sea level."

14."Why did the eraser add insult to injury? It likes to rub it in."

—ebeisaac             

15."Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, may I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!"

16."Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil? Never mind. It’s pointless."

—AaliyahNoor                     

17."Why did the student throw a clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly."

—MeepRJ                       

18."Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher said, 'it was a piece of cake.'"

19."Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor."

—UYScutiPuffJr                           

20."What world capital has the fastest growing population? Ireland. The capital is Dublin every day."

21."How much do neutrons cost? Nothing, they’re free of charge."

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

22."What do you call it when Hagrid takes a ceramics class? Hairy Potter."

23."What US state has the smallest drinks? Mini-soda"

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

24."How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? You see one later, and one in a while."

25."How much do rainbows weigh? Not much; they’re actually pretty light."

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

26."What baseball player has the shortest commute? The catcher, he works from home."

27."What did one tectonic plate say to another when they bumped into each other? Sorry, my fault."

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

28."Why are math teachers always so upset? They have so many problems."

29."What do you call a second-place trophy in an astronomy contest? A constellation prize."

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

30."Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/4th."

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

31."Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days? All the rest are weakdays."

32."How do bees get to school? The school buzz!!!"

—CryptoReaper5                               

33."Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square."

—UYScutiPuffJr                               

34."What do all the cool kids learn at school? Algebrah."

35."Why did the student show up to school covered in wrapping paper? His teacher said he had to be present!"

—Anonymous                               

36."A lady asked me if I needed help when I was choking on some alphabet pasta. She took the words right out of my mouth!"

37."There’s a new airline for book lovers. It has a large library of popular books. It’s called Jane Air."

—Hefy_jefy                               

38."A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The Librarian: 'They're right behind you!'"

39."I'm reading a book called Anti-climax at the moment. The beginning is really good."

—SheldonE65                               

40."Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She couldn't control her pupils."

—CorrectTowel                               

41."Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field."

42."What's a snake's favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory!!"

43."Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

—FunEntersTheChat                             

44."How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars."

45."What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium."

—TrustMeImLeifEricson                               

46."I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon."

47."A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says 'for you, no charge.'"

—kesh_from_downunder                                 

48."What did the tree say when it looked in the mirror?GEOMETRY!"

49."I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down."

—Professional-Tower76                                 

50."Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."

H/T: r/cleanjokes, r/matheducation, r/jokesforkids, r/dadjokes, r/kidjokes, r/AskReddit, and r/funny

Do you have any back-to-school jokes? Let me know in the comments!