Live TV is a disaster waiting to happen – especially when you bring weapons, fire and animals into the mix. So it's no wonder the Britain's Got Talent stage has seen its fair share of mishaps over the past 12 series. Here, we look back at the moments producers dread...
1. Alesha Dixon impaling a man (almost)
When Ben Blaque appeared on the show in May 2016 with his crossbow act, he put his fate in judge Alesha Dixon's hands. "He has amazing eyes... carry on," she said, distracted, as Ben explained how to operate the crossbow, so it's no wonder it went wrong.
When Alesha pulled the first lever, not one, but two arrows fired towards the contestant. He looked incredibly relieved (and in need of a trip to M&S for some new pants) when the rogue arrow missed him and hit the floor.
"I personally would not trust Alesha to pull the handle and fire an arrow at me," Simon Cowell said after. "But in a strange way, by Alesha being an idiot and accidentally releasing two arrows, it made the act better."
2. The mind readers who couldn't read minds
In June 2017, DNA (Essex duo Darren Sarsby and Andrew Murray) appeared on the show claiming to be able to read minds. They asked David Walliams to stop on a random page in his Gangsta Granny book, while they guessed the number '81' by writing it down on the notepad.
"31," said David when asked to reveal the actual page he'd stopped on. "I got very close," said Darren, as he laughed nervously and proceeded to change the 81 to a 31 like nobody would notice and everyone would cheer and they'd go on to win the competition. They didn't.
3. The forgetful vocalist
If you're going on Britain's Got Talent as a singer, you need to be reeeeally good – and not forget your lyrics like Calum Scott did in the 2015 Live FINAL.
Barely one verse into Rihanna's 'Diamonds' his memory failed him and he started mumbling some nonsense words that sounded vaguely like Rihanna. DID WE MENTION IT WAS THE FINAL? Needless to say, he ended up coming sixth, with dancing dog act Jules & Matisse winning that year.
4. When Ant McPartlin turned into a firefighter
Never has an audition been more chaotic than that of Bambas, the Greek Cypriot ice cream man. He came on and started smashing plates on the floor and on his head, then he played his bouzouki while shouting "BAMBAS!" a lot, while Amanda Holden danced around barefoot smashing yet more plates.
With all that going on, it was a great time for another man to come on stage and pile seven glasses atop of Bambas' head, the top one full of flames. The receptacle tower fell to the floor within 0.05 seconds, setting the stage alight, resulting in Ant McPartlin running on to put out the flames with a mug of water. We need a lie down just thinking about it.
5. The kids who got accused of miming
This was perhaps the most mortifying moment in Britain's Got Talent history. The adorable St Patrick's Choir from Drumgreenagh were on stage in the May 2017 semi-final, to sing Katy Perry's 'Roar'. The track seemed to start, but nobody sang... then on ran Ant & Dec, panicked.
"We're going to just stop it there, we've had a few technical problems," said Dec, while the sound of children singing sounded out over the PA. Yet the mouths of the children on stage remained firmly closed... Oops. Everyone had a big, awkward laugh over it, though, and the choir went on to sing the song beautifully. It didn't go unnoticed with viewers, with comments like: "Unless their talent is ventriloquism, I detect some miming" popping up on Twitter.
6. The Singing Trolls
This audition from The Singing Souls in April 2009 went wrong – or absolutely right – when Simon cheekily referred to them as The Singing Trolls, which the trio of girls did not like. First, they claimed they could outsell the Spice Girls, then they stood on stage, deadly still and dressed like Alvin and the Chipmunks, making a noise no human should be subjected to.
"There's not a lot of stage presence," commented Dec, before Simon called them the worst group he's ever heard in his life. "Girls, you sounded like three cats being dragged up the motorway," he added.
7. The downward weeing dog
Yoga is a nice relaxing activity. Doga (dog yoga) not so much. In April 2017, Mahny Djahanguiri brought her pooch Robbie onstage to do some gentle stretches with him, before inviting the judges and their dogs up to do the same.
Ant's dog proceeded to wee all over his yoga mat, and the presenter had to escort him off before the doga even started. Later, Robbie lost David's vote when he used the judge's shoes as a toilet. The third to piss themselves was Dec as he howled: "He's peed on your shoes!"
8. The one where Simon Cowell messed up
It's hard work being a BGT judge, so it's good to have some mints on hand to keep the stress breath away. Be careful not to choke on them, though, like Simon did in May 2014 while waiting for an audition to start.
As he spluttered away, his face slowly going redder than those big red buzzers, and his whole life flashing before him, David jumped in and administered the Heimlich manoeuvre. Thank heavens.
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