Muddy trainers, lost trousers, and parents who couldn't get their children to go to bed are just some of the latest bizarre reasons why 999-callers have phoned the police.
Problems with Sky TV and a complaint about loud love-making were also among reasons they rang 101 or 999, according to data revealed by South Yorkshire Police.
One man in Rotherham even phoned to tell police that his neighbour dislikes him because he used to jump on a trampoline wearing a dress.
There were also two separate incidents where parents rang police to complain that their child would not go to bed when told.
Det Sgt Nigel Taaffe, from South Yorkshire Police, said: 'If you had your children's friends over and one went to the toilet in your Wendy house, most people would just clean it up. But we had someone ring the police.
'If your 14-year-old daughter has got her brand new expensive trainers muddy and her friends are laughing, most people would not ring us. But, again, someone did.
'They are generally one-off issues.
'But there are people who place a disproportionate demand on our resources and not for policing issues.'
South Yorkshire Police released the call handler log to highlight how both emergency and non-emergency numbers are misused.
The force is now sending letters and threatening legal action on those who consistently waste their time and resources.
Det Sgt Taaffe said: 'We're highlighting the fact that they are taking up the valuable time of officers, PCSOs and call handlers.'
Police also fear that real crimes - like hate incidents against the disabled - are meanwhile going unreported.
PC Nick Knowles said: 'There are a lot of people who need us and, therefore, a big demand on our services.
'But there are also some who have difficulty managing aspects of their own lives and don't understand the job of the police.
'They call us up for things most people would know how to deal with themselves.'
Police urged people to call 999 only in emergencies and to use 101 to report less urgent crime or disorder and for general police enquiries.
A selection of calls made by Rotherham residents to the 101 and 999 numbers during the past 12 months, as logged by the callhandler:
Caller is disliked by his neighbour because he used to jump up and down on his trampoline in a dress.
Caller states that her daughter, 11 years, is 'attacking her'. Questioned further, it turns out her daughter is being a naughty girl and won't go to bed.
Confused caller says she does not seem to be able to get films with her Sky TV card. Advised she would need to speak to Sky.
There is a couple with a big brown dog that is running around. It has not been aggressive towards anyone but caller is concerned as to the size of the dog. He has spoken to the couple about the dog but they have not done anything.
Caller says some children who live round the corner keep coming to her house to play with her daughter. She says that one of them has pooed in her daughter's playhouse. This child is three years old but caller is irate because they should know better.
Caller reporting he has two females, possibly from housing, knocking on his door and he doesn't want to answer it so is asking for police to attend. He states that he is on water tablets so doesn't want to talk to them.
Caller advising that he has found some driving documents that he thought he had previously lost and was wanting to let us know.
Caller wanting to report some youths being a nuisance. They have been coming on the street Christmas carolling but they can't sing and it seems like they are just trying to get some money.
Caller very distressed. The neighbours next door are making love very loudly with the windows open. This has been going on for some time.
Caller reporting four or five youths aged five to 11 on the street and they have thrown a stone at her window and smashed it. On inspection of said window it transpires there is no actual damage, just a mud mark which has wiped off.
Caller was in Newcastle for the weekend and woke up yesterday in his hotel to find his trousers were missing.
Caller reporting her daughter, 12 years, has been to the woods with four friends. They have all crossed a stream, on a log. The log has slipped from under her and she has fallen into the stream. This has ruined her new trainers. She asked them for help to get out of the stream and they stood there and laughed. Caller states that her daughter has then had to walk home with wet feet.