'Absolute Unit!': Giant Goanna Astonishes Snake Catchers During Removal From School Playground

A large goanna astonished snake catchers due to its giant size as they removed it from a school playground on the Sunshine Coast, Australia.

This footage was captured by the Sunshine Coast Snake Catchers on September 19. It shows wrangler Stuart McKenzie marveling at the length of the goanna after capturing it.

“That is a modern-day dinosaur,” McKenzie says in the video before showing how the reptile’s size matches the width of his fully extended handspan.

“Suck your gut in, big fella,” he then mused before guiding the goanna into a transportation tube.

McKenzie told Storyful they were called to remove the animal from the school due to reports it was eating students’ lunches.

“When we arrived we were absolutely gobsmacked at the sheer size and thickness of this modern day dinosaur! What an absolute unit!” the snake catchers said in a Facebook post about the removal. Credit: Stuart McKenzie via Storyful

Video transcript

- [GRUNT] Oh my goodness. You are Mr. Chunky. Oh my gosh. Look at the size of this thing. Hold on. What have you been eating? I don't know if I'm going to get-- we're going to need a bigger tube. Need to let go of your feet, bud. [GROAN] Oh, come on. [EXHALES] Hmm.

- Will that thing just pull out? Shit!

- I don't know. Maybe get his feet off it. So can you-- can you get your hand, I'll feed this to you. There you go. God, you're going to bring the whole vine system.

- Yeah.

- Can you-- see that bit just there?

- This bit here?

- Yeah, push his fingers down a little bit, just gentle.

- Oh, look at the size of this goanna. That is a modern-day dinosaur.

- Look how fat he is. He's so wide.

- I actually don't think--

- Look at that. That is crazy.

- I don't think-- so if you see my hand here-- OK, that was a bad idea, Stuart, you idiot. I'm not going to do that again. All right.

- Is he going to fit in there?

- I don't know. So if you guys have a look now, just while I've got him pinned here, I'm just going to pin his tail. Look at that.

- Look at that.

- That is a full span of my hand. I genuinely don't know if he's going to fit in my tube.

- This could be quite challenging.

- OK, suck your gut in, big fella. Suck it in. At least I know he's not going to turn around. Get it in there. Now the other end is definitely shut. Wow.

- Oh, we've been feeding him all week.

- Oh no. Have you been feeding him kids or something? Oh.

- I think he normally comes out and just eats their lunch after they've gone back to class.

- Yeah, right. Getting all the scraps. All right. The good thing about having a big goanna is you know that they can't turn around. Because sometimes the little ones can turn around in the tube, and you have no idea which way they're facing.

- OK, I have to be careful here. Bit of hissing going on. Oh. What are you doing? Sorry. There you go, Mr. Fatty. Out you come. I know you can come out. Come on. Slide your big guts out. [GRUNTING] Now watch he doesn't climb up here. Careful.