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The Affordable Crossbody Bag That Guys Over 25 Can Actually Wear

Photo credit: Courtesy
Photo credit: Courtesy
Photo credit: Courtesy
Photo credit: Courtesy

'Good Things' is Esquire's celebration of the very best stuff you can buy, via the personal endorsement of our editors. "Best" doesn't mean most expensive, and it won't just be clothes (although, that's kind of our vibe). Just know that when you see the Good Things logo, it has the Esquire seal of approval.


Menswear can cause an existential crisis more ruinous and reeling than any conversation with someone born after 1999. Because getting dressed, ultimately, is a personal plinko board; one bump to the left can make a million, but too far, and you’re a sobbing loser being comforted by Danny Dyer on a bad BBC gameshow (The Wall, if you were interested). But instead of being down 50 grand, you’re Trying Too Hard; the middle-aged man unable to pull off the gear of his successors, the Stüssed out geriatric with sadness in his eyes. That’s the existential bit. And nowhere was the internal strife strife-ier than in my quest for a crossbody bag.

Not the travelling, luxury, BA Lounge crossbody bags with a Louis Vuitton damier print or a Dior monogram. Those are for proper fashion grown-ups that refuse to share their favourite Greek island in fear of it being spoilt. No. I needed an everyday crossbody that could survive creaking pubs, long walks, short holidays, who knows, maybe even a festival (the absolute No Man’s Land of existential generational crises). The only problem was that such crossbody bags were sparse among my contemporaries. They were supposedly for 24-year-old account assistants that sleep very little at the weekend, and the 28-year-olds that provide the right ingredients for such sleep deprivation.

Could I, a 31-year-old fridge magnet collector that cherishes a 10 hour sleep, indulge in such a thing? Yes. Because like most things menswear, not all crossbody bags are born equal – especially when they’re from Craghoppers.

You may’ve heard of it: a functional, hard working hiking brand that really is for proper hikers. Its crossbody ‘kiwi classic’ bags are, actually, bum bags; that staple of pensioners abroad that need a safe space for travellers’ cheques and statin meds. There’s lots of room. It comes in one of three solid colours. It’s no fuss, and functional, and, unlike those in a mid-life crisis, doesn’t try too hard. Plus it’s only around the £15 mark, a remarkable feat when blue chips bits can go for three or four figures.

That’s not to say it’s boring. It just shows that sensible brands can tap into less sensible trends at a more sensible time in your life. What’s more, Craghoppers isn’t part of the gorpcore renaissance. It’s just gorp in its purest form. That the whole zone one-to-two Eurohiker became cool is pure coincidence for a brand founded in 1965. Plus, I didn’t feel particularly silly with this slung over one shoulder. There’s something mildly hellish about a 31-year-old with a tie-dye raver bag they bought at Coachella; less so a repurposed bum bag from a brand beloved by ramblers' the South Downs over.

After all, age shouldn’t disbar one from dressing in the things one likes. They’ve just got to choose the right one. And though the plinko board isn’t always guaranteed to fall in your favour, a pure, wholesome hiking brand will certainly get the ball – and the crossbody bag – rolling in the right, crisis-free direction.

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