Advertisement

Akram Khan: I love my children but I wish I was a better father

Akram Khan never gave up on his dance dream
Akram Khan never gave up on his dance dream

We asked the dancer and choreographer Akram Khan, 43, what his younger self would make of him today...

My early life was a collage of so many forms of inspiration, taken from different cultures. That’s something that feeds the way I think now. A lot of my work is reflective of my experience as a child; my parents’ Bangladeshi origin, being born and brought up in Wimbledon and inspirations like Michael Jackson, Charlie Chaplin, Baryshnikov, Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali and Fred Astaire. They were all my superheroes.

One of the most important things I remember as a child was being involved with my dad’s Indian restaurant. That had a huge impact on me and was part of the more challenging side of my childhood. A lot of racists would come to the restaurant. People would be normal outside on the street, but then come to the restaurant after the pubs closed and things would turn ugly. It does leave a scar and impact the way you think. I’ve been fortunate that in the dance world there’s not much racism, but there is a sexism problem regarding female choreographers. 

The world is in chaos and my work has become more political

At the same time, as a child, I loved listening to the Indian radio station that my dad played in the restaurant. It wasn’t a very busy restaurant, so when it was empty I would dance around. The carpet actually wore out from me doing the moonwalk. 

dancer
Akram as a young Kathak dancer

From a young age, I had the impulse to dance. I was hyperactive and I loved moving. It was frustrating in a way because I wasn’t very academic, but my community was very ambitious. They put a lot of pressure on my parents to make me do more academic studies. To this day, one of my aunts will say, “That was a very good show, I’m really proud of you, but what do you do during the day?” She still thinks dance isn’t a proper job.

My mother was a very important figure. She recognised that I needed some structure to my love of movement and thought Kathak, classical Indian dance, would be the very thing. My relationship with my Kathak teacher, and being cast in Peter Brook’s nine-hour production of Sanskrit epic the Mahabharata when I was 13, cemented my decision to become a dancer. 

Recently, my assistant rehearsal director, Mavin Khoo, and I were discussing how we both felt when we met, aged 18, at the beginning of our careers. We had no idea what would happen; we only wanted to do our art. What we were striving for was excellence rather than success. I think young people are more savvy now, but we were just so happy we had the opportunity to express ourselves. 

Juliette Binoche and Akram Khan performing in the production "in-i" at the National Theatre in London - Credit: Robbie Jack/Getty
Juliette Binoche and Akram Khan performing in the production "in-i" at the National Theatre in London Credit: Robbie Jack/Getty

There was a depressing time when the work wasn’t coming in and I wasn’t earning any money apart from the odd performance. In between I would return to my dad’s restaurant and he would say, “Why don’t you take over the business?” But I followed my dream, and I had a lot of good people who believed in me. I’ve been very lucky and I’m grateful for my success. Being involved in the London Olympics was pretty amazing. However, I never thought I would do the dark subjects that I do, like Lest We Forget [about the horrors of the First World War] and Giselle [set in the world of migrant factory workers]. As a child, I was a happy-go-lucky dreamer, but now I’m more pessimistic. The world is in chaos and my work has become more political.

Each artist’s relationship with their body is different. I love being on stage. I am performing my last solo tour until 2020. I will still dance after that because I need to move, but I’ll move differently, and less. 

What would surprise my younger self would be that I’d have married twice. I wish I was a better father. I’m not around much; it’s difficult when you’re travelling the world. My wife is effectively a single mother. I didn’t know that I wanted to have children; that’s been a beautiful revelation. They give me great hope and they teach me so much about myself. They are very young, just three and five, and to see them dancing is very special. 

When I was little, I was always telling stories, fooling people and playing different characters. I think if my younger self could see me now, he’d tell me to chill out, laugh more and have fun.

Akram Khan Company performs Xenos at Leicester Curve Sept 22. Lest We Forget is at Sadler’s Wells until Sept 29