“Alien: Romulus ”launches Cailee Spaeny into winning gross-out orbit

Maintaining a low orbit makes this one of the best in the franchise in years.

Warning: This article contains spoilers for Alien: Romulus.

With each generation, cultural customs change, but some things from my day — and that of my parents and grandparents — remain. It is right and good and important that couples occasionally make a date at the cinema to see something aimed more at the central nervous system than at the head. It should offer opportunities to squirm in your seat, to mutter "ew, gross," even to shout out, "Girl, don't go in there!" It is also key that if attention wanders from the screen during some of the talky bits in favor of making out, you'll still easily piece together what's happening when a crash on the soundtrack recaptures your attention. I am happy to say that Alien: Romulus, the 75th entry in the Alien franchise (note to self: double-check that number) easily ticks all these boxes.

Fitting snugly on the timeline between Ridley Scott's Alien, arguably the greatest haunted house movie ever made, and James Cameron's armaments-heavy action pic Aliens, the new entry in the franchise comes from Fede Álvarez, the Uruguayan director known for his 2013 Evil Dead remake and 2016's house-of-horrors experiment in tension Don’t Breathe. It is bleak and grimy and nauseating, but somehow manages to be a lot of fun. With the exception of one particularly sour note (more on this in a bit), it wisely pulls from the pre-existing toybox of proven successes within this storytelling universe. While it may not have the visual sweep of 2012's Alien prequel Prometheus, it benefits from the simplicity of its storyline. It doesn’t try to reinvent anything and instead focuses on refining what works. It's got the thrills, it's got the creepy-crawlies, and it's got just enough plot to make you care about the characters. Alien: Romulus is a hell of a night out at the movies.

Related: Alien: Romulus director teases new movie’s mix of familiar designs and all-new visuals

Our star is Cailee Spaeny as Rain (at first, I thought she was called Rey, which would have been funny), who foolishly thinks the evil Weyland-Yutani Corporation is going to let her leave a dreary, godforsaken mining colony now that she's clocked all the hours on her contract. Naturally, she's informed that her indentured servitude will continue — pretty much consigning her to an early death by interplanetary black lung. By her side is her android "brother" Andy (David Jonsson), restored by her deceased father. They have an interesting dynamic; his sole function is to protect her, but he's got a Lenny from Of Mice and Men quality to him, so oftentimes, she is the one pulling him out of a jam.

Down in the dumps, Rain and Andy hang out with a ragtag group of fellow youngsters and devise a plot. You see, they've spotted a derelict ship (actually a space station called Romulus-Remus) that ought to have enough cryogenics fuel (blue, so you know it's cold) to get them to a paradise planet that's a short nine years away. The catch is they need Andy the android, because he can "speak MU/TH/UR," the name for the Weyland-Yutani computer systems. (This is visualized by Jonsson sticking his finger into holes kinda like R2-D2 did with a metal prong in the early Star Wars movies.)

Well, guess what? As soon as they get up there, problems ensue. There's not enough fuel, there's trouble with the gravity, there are doors that won't open, there are weird holes in the floor, and (this is likely no surprise) there are incubating aliens. Soon, those facehuggers are skittering all over the dimly lit corridors, jumping on people's faces, and impregnating them with other little aliens eager to burst out of chests. It's all very gnarly.

Related: Why Alien: Romulus pits the Xenomorph against a younger crew

The station actually holds what's left of the beast blasted into space by Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) at the end of the first Alien. (It's about 20 years later.) We learn this via an exposition dump from the only truly bad thing in this movie: a resurrected CGI version of the deceased actor Ian Holm— similar to how Peter Cushing showed up in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Now, it makes some story sense that Weyland-Yutani would create multiple androids that looked like Holm's character. (In Alien, he's called Ash, and here he is Rook.) But the effect doesn't look quite right, and that’s beyond "well, he’s not human, so he should look weird." Also, the androids have always been some of the best characterizations in these films — from the original Holm to Lance Henriksen to Michael Fassbender to David Jonsson in this one. It would have been a lot better just to cast a new actor — and less cringey when he recycled some classic lines from the original, too.

Related: Alien: Romulus director shows off upcoming film's facehugger in new video

After learning what's up, it isn't long until Rain, Andy, and their pals (Aileen Wu, Spike Fearn, Archie Renaux, and Isabela Merced) are racing around the enormous station in terror and also leaving a trail of plot breadcrumbs that — hats off to Álvarez and his co-writer Rodo Sayagues — cumulate in what feels like five different ticking clocks. There are some moments of pure mayhem, with ships smashing into things while enormous nightmare beasts zoom in from every corner, and, unequivocally, the best use of "their blood is acid" in the entire Alien franchise. (Anyone who has seen Don't Breathe knows that Álvarez is eager to use bodily fluid as a prop.)

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It's fun, but it isn't perfect. This movie has lousy geography; I had no idea where anything was on the station and where that was in relation to the docked ship. I also wish there were two or three more characters on this adventure. Maybe I sound like a sociopath, but I would have liked to see more people get chomped and bisected by the aliens.

The design of the picture is impressive, however, especially in how it looks like a new movie but is simpatico with the tech of the 1979 original — another commonality with Rogue One. The finest weapon in the arsenal, however, is Spaeny, differentiating herself quite a bit from the doe-eyed characters she played in Civil War and Priscilla. Her petite nature may not scream action hero, but, as has long been established, in space, no one can hear you scream anyway. Grade: B+

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