Mum living in fear that violent ex will kill her issues desperate warning to authorities

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-Credit: (Image: Simon Dack / Brighton Argus)


An Ayrshire mum has warned that she faces being MURDERED by her violent ex-partner - if changes aren’t made to the criminal justice system.

The mum of two, 35, fears her ex-partner will kill her one day - despite warning the authorities over the danger he presents to her and their two sons, aged 12 and six.

The Kilmarnock mum, who we are calling ‘Vicki,’ has spoken out in the wake of a new report that says incidents of domestic abuse in Ayrshire are at their highest level for the past decade- after rising by 7.5 per cent last year.

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Figures published by the Scottish Government revealed that there were 4,698 domestic abuse incidents recorded by the police across the county in 2023-24.

And fearful mum-of-two Vicki, is just one of the scores of victims who live with the daily fear of being attacked.

She said: “It’s going to take something bad to happen before people listen to me. What I mean is this - he’s going to kill me, maybe even one of my sons, because that’s who he really is. People will start to listen when it’s too late.

“Nobody seems to get that. Yet the authorities say to me ‘we can’t go on the what-if?’

Vicki’s torrid campaign, being on the receiving end of domestic violence, escalated in the last year and she feels let down by the way her and her two sons have been treated by the criminal justice system.

She lifted the lid on her experience and said: “We have been separated since 2017 and we have two sons. But there’s been a lot of domestic violence since we separated - him towards me - and it was always my word against his. Up until that point he was never convicted.

“There’s been contact in place with the children and their dad and that was done through the civil court but their dad has physically abused them. It came to light earlier this year and he was charged with three counts of assault - with one assault to injury.

“He’s then breached his bail conditions three times and two of these did not progress through the courts, which I have appealed. What is the point of having bail conditions in place if they are breached and the courts don’t act upon them?”

Vicki continued: “Breach of bail was acted on and he was given community service. Then, ahead of the court cases for assaults, he pleaded not guilty.

“That meant a trial and my eldest son faced the prospect of being in the witness box to testify against his own dad.

“Basically, we were in the witness room and when called, my ex-partner pleaded guilty and his sentence was deferred. Bear in mind he was up for three charges and we were told he’d pleaded guilty to just one of them.

“That was a weight from our shoulders, especially for my son because he faced the prospect of testifying against his own dad. It was heart breaking for him.”

Vicki’s ex-partner was eventually fined £500 after pleading guilty to one charge of assault and is back walking the streets.

Domestic abuse can have a devastating impact on the victims
Domestic abuse can have a devastating impact on the victims -Credit:Simon Dack / Brighton Argus

She said: “According to the Procurator Fiscal he did plead guilty and was fined £500 for assault to injury. That was only one charge but there were three. How does that help my sons and I recover from the trauma we’ve suffered. I’m not happy with the outcome of the latest case and why the decision to drop two charges was made.

“My ex-partner now has a conviction, his fourth assault conviction - three of them were against his own family - me, my two sons and his own dad.

“He was also convicted for assaulting someone in Ayr. He’s a violent, unpredictable man and, as a family, we don’t feel safe in our home.

“We have not felt safe in our home for a long time. There’s been no support from the authorities, bar family and friends. Victim Support has not been about, or even some sort of child protection support put in place. We have had social workers coming in and out but we need ongoing support.”

Since the break-up of their relationship, due to his infidelity, Vicki has lost one full-time job and is now earning a living working two jobs to make ends meet. She receives no child maintenance from her ex.

Vicki said: “It breaks my heart, we were together for 10 years. This all started when we separated. He was a loving family man and now he’s a violent man. He does not take responsibility. He’s getting support for his mental health but he’s never taken responsibility for his actions. He could turn up at my door at any time. Last year he did turn up and kicked my door in.

“This is how unpredictable he is, if he doesn’t see the children, he’s kicking my door in. He’s vandalised my car too. We don’t feel safe.

“We even have cameras, a domestic abuse alarm and on high alert for 999 but it doesn’t solve anything; the justice system lets him away with it.

“I feel like no-one’s listening as to how dangerous this man can be. I expected a more severe sentence. Jail time is what he needs and for him to realise he can’t do this, especially to his own family.

“There’s a pattern of violence, violence and violence. And my sons have witnessed this since we separated since 2017, especially our littlest. He’s seen violence all his life from his dad. My eldest has been grabbed, punched and pinned to the wall. My youngest is seeing this.

“This is not about shaming him, it’s about my life being wrecked, it’s about my boys’ lives being wrecked, it’s about losing my job, it’s about the stress and depression I’m under. It’s about the panic attacks. This man has torn our family apart but he’s walking the streets thinking everything is fine.”

Vicki issued a direct appeal to Siobhian Brown MSP, Victims Minister, for help.

She said: “Basically I would ask her what is being done to support families like us. We don’t feel safe. The balance is tipped too heavily in favour for the perpetrators. I would happily meet her. I am angry, frustrated and heartbroken at the current situation we find ourselves in.”

Victims and Community Safety Minister, Siobhian Brown
Victims and Community Safety Minister, Siobhian Brown -Credit:Ayrshire Post

Victims and Community Safety Minister, Siobhian Brown, said she was unable to comment on individual cases but is determined to see changes to the justice system so that victims can access the support they so badly need.

She said: “Domestic abuse is abhorrent and it is vital that perpetrators are held to account, and that women and children can access support services they need. The Scottish Government continues to encourage victims to contact Police Scotland and also seek help and support.

“We are continuing to make changes to the justice system to make it easier to report incidents and we have legislated to give police, prosecutors and the courts greater powers to tackle domestic abuse crimes.

“We cannot comment on individual cases. To support victims, we are providing more than £7.5 million to Women’s Aid groups in 2024-25 through our Delivering Equally Safe Fund and £1.7 million to Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline which provides round the clock support - 0800 027 1234.”

If you, or someone you know, is at risk of domestic abuse, contact Police Scotland. You can also contact their partner agencies for help.

You can contact Police Scotland via their online reporting form. If the abuse is ongoing always phone 101, or 999 in an emergency.

Or contact Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline on 0800 027 1234. Support is available 24/7.

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