On Tuesday, grime artist Big Narstie became a megastar. Tasked with presenting the weather on Good Morning Britain, Narstie grabbed the role with both hands and delivered a masterclass in how to cope with the pressures of live television. “Double up, double up, double up, double up”, he told viewers shortly before describing the Scottish Highlands as “a bag of snow”. Instantly, Narstie’s turn joined the pantheon of unexpectedly incredible television moments. Here are his new bedfellows.
Jeremy Paxman presents the weather
The opposite end of the spectrum to Narstie’s exuberance. When Newsnight first substituted its stock market reports with weather forecasts in 2005, Jeremy Paxman reacted with palpable disdain. “It’s a veritable smorgasbord,” he groaned during one segment. “Sun. Rain. Thunder. Hail. Snow. Cold. Wind. Not worth going to work, really.” Never before had we felt one man’s inner pain so acutely.
Mark E Smith reads the football results
When the BBC used the Fall’s Theme From Sparta FC to introduce the football scores, it set in order a majestic sequence of events that culminated in Mark E Smith reading out the football results live on the BBC. Although he carried it off with aplomb – shooting the whole thing through with a detached irony – the segment went off the rails soon afterwards when Smith compared presenter Ray Stubbs to a murderer.
Theresa May drops by The One Show
The One Show, with its mixture of inane fluff and dramatic tonal lurches, is not for everyone. Specifically, it is not for Theresa May. Appearing last year with her husband, May tried so hard to look like a relatable everywoman that she instead came off as a terrified alien, stuttering and blinking at softball questions about Banksy and Eurovision. She will not appear again, one suspects.
James Hewitt performs on Celebrity X Factor
X Factor: Battle of the Stars was a badly thought-out celebrity singing competition. But nothing was as badly thought-out as the idea to team Cpt James Hewitt with David Beckham’s alleged former lover, Rebecca Loos, and have them absolutely massacre Addicted to Love in a legitimately harrowing way.