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Billie Eilish Says She Started Watching Porn at Age 11: 'It Really Destroyed My Brain'

The Howard Stern Show

Billie Eilish is opening up about how she feels "incredibly devastated" by her exposure to pornographic images at an early age.

The Happier Than Ever artist, 19, visited SiriusXM's The Howard Stern Show Monday and told host Howard Stern that "as a woman, I think porn is a disgrace."

"I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11," Eilish continued, explaining that she thought it would help her feel like "one of the guys."

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"I think it really destroyed my brain, and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn," the seven-time Grammy Award winner added. "The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying 'No' to things that were not good. It was because I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to."

"I'm so angry that porn is so loved, and I'm so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay," she said. "The way that vaginas look in porn is f—king crazy. No vaginas look like that. Women's bodies don't look like that. We don't come like that."

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The "Bad Guy" singer, who hosted and performed on Saturday Night Live over the weekend, also discussed dating on Stern's show and talked about the difficulties she's faced. "I'm not a serial dater," she said. "I don't go to stuff and flirt with people."

"It's really hard to meet people when people are either terrified of you or think that you're out of their league," she added. "Last year, I thought that I'd be single for the rest of my life. I genuinely couldn't even picture myself in a relationship of any sort. I got over that pretty fast."

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The music star also opened up to Stern about her bout with COVID-19 earlier this year, and the side effects she's still experiencing months later.

"I didn't die, and I wasn't gonna die, but that does not take away from how miserable it was. It was terrible," Eilish, who had a breakthrough case of coronavirus in August, said. "I still have side effects. I was sick for, like, two months almost."

Eilish credited the vaccine as the reason she's now "fine," adding, "I think if I weren't vaccinated, I would have, like, died, because it was bad … When I say it was bad, I more just mean that it felt horrible. But really, in the scheme of COVID, it was not bad. You know what I mean? When you're sick, you feel f—ing horrible."