Billie Piper only recently went public with her current relationship with boyfriend Johnny Lloyd, but has admitted she fantasises about another version of her life in which she is married to her first love, a scaffolder from Swindon, and stays with him forever.
The 34-year-old actress divorced Chris Evans in 2007, three years after they separated and was also married to actor Laurence Fox for eight years, divorcing in 2016.
Yet Billie thinks if she had wed her scaffolder boyfriend they would never have broken up.
She told Stylist magazine: ‘My first love. Yeah, I often think about what would’ve happened if we were still together and I think we would probably have had a 30-year relationship.’
Billie – who has two sons with Laurence – also said she feels like she has to have ‘everything’ in her thirties and despite an impressive singing and acting career, and having had two children and two marriages, she feels ‘f****d’ by the pressure.
She added: ‘It feels like you have to be fully established by your 30s. But now the world’s not interested, because you’re not 20 anymore.
Billie Piper thinks young girls misread what feminism is.
‘I just think some of this new-age female emancipation can often land us in that place in our 30s where we feel, ‘I’m supposed to have this, this and this… I’m supposed to be successful and business-savvy and coquettish and making cash and a slag in the bedroom and well-read and I’m supposed to be on top of all of these things, because it’s my time. People have made it my time. Women have made it my time’.
‘I just feel f**ked by this amount of pressure! It feels like it is unnatural to be able to do all of those things. I think it’s shaky in its brand, do you know what I mean? When I’m around women of my [24-year-old] sister’s generation, I think there’s this really misguided view of what [feminism] actually is. It’s a bit man-hating and sort of oversexualised. I think young girls misread what feminism is.’
Billie is looking forward to being carefree at 90 and living her life without any apologies.
She added: ‘Mine is on a beach in Mexico, in a kaftan, with rum and roll-ups. Getting old, but not feeling the cold from England, feeling like now it’s my time. I love my kids, I raised you all, I’ve poured everything into you and now I just want to go and waft around. Just being looser than I was in my 20s and in my teens without any apologies because I’m approaching my death.’