You are more likely to see a sasquatch roaming around the headquarters of Yahoo Celebrity UK than a surfer, which shows just how little we know about the sport and how much we love movies about Bigfoot.

So when we were invited to Boardmasters festival in Cornwall this weekend (August 10-13) to watch the likes of Two Door Cinema Club, Jamiroquai, Idris Elba, Hannah Wants and Loyle Carner, you can imagine how excited we were to get a taste of the festival’s surfing heritage and partake in a surf lesson for beginners.

The setting for our foray into the Celtic Sea on Saturday afternoon was a buzzing Newquay, packed with music lovers heading to the festival site in Watergate Bay and surf enthusiasts flocking to the biggest annual international surf contest in the UK on nearby Fistral beach.

‘Waves are not measured in feet and inches, they are measured in increments of fear’ – Buzzy Trent

The class met at Escape Surf School situated next to stag party hotspot Belushi’s on Fore St, and opposite a huge Walkabout bar on the beach.

We were sized up for a heavy duty wet suit by a genuine surfer babe and then shown how to slip into our armour.

‘Like a pair of tights, ladies, roll it up, iron out the wrinkles, don’t pull hard!’

Our teacher for the afternoon was a six foot South African surfer called Mike, the best of the best at the Escape Surf School and especially assigned to beginners. He had the figure of Michael Phelps and charm of Rylan Clark-Neal – a genuinely delightful combination – and as we trotted down to the beach in pairs he explained to us that he was once drafted in to coach the young Olympic surfing team with the sole task of fixing their sloppy technical ability. He promised that we’d surf the Cornish waves within fifteen minutes, rather than stay on the sand for an hour like the other surf schools taught the sport, miming moves like The Beach Boys. And truth be told we were relived, because we were beginning to boil in the thick spongey suit thanks to the beautiful weather.

Position 1

As promised, Mike quickly demonstrated three simple moves on the sand that had us cruising the (smaller) waves for the best part of the afternoon and feeling like local pro Lucy Campbell.

The first step essentially requires you to lie flat on the board with your hands facing down beside your ribcage, halfway up the board, with elbows raised behind you. Feet and legs should be together and toes pointed or hooked over the rear end of the board. Raise your head and chest in a cobra like position (like the yoga pose) and keep your body stiff but ready to slide into Position 2.

Position 2

Before we hit the water Mike explained that when they look for a wave to conquer, seasoned surfers are in Position 1 facing the beach and they paddle towards the coastline as the wave approaches from behind. But, since we had two hours and Mike wanted us up on that board ASAP, he pushed us on our first few attempts to give us speed and momentum instead. If we suggest that you and your beach buddy take it in turns to be Mike and help each other out.

Now you are ready for Position 2. When you’ve chosen your wave and you feel it push against the board, slide the knees up to hands, straighten the arms and lift the hands so that the fingertips are touching the board for balance and raise the front knee. Make sure that the foot is in the exact centre of the board and is facing diagonally with toes pointed inward.

Position 3

Swivel the front foot so that it is adjacent (not in line) with the side of the board, and stand up!

Keep the knees bent and bottom down while putting an equal amount of the body’s weight on each leg.

Finally, raise the arms in a dab – don’t pretend you don’t know how – and keep looking between your fingertips and…

Surf!

‘It’s a cakewalk, when you know how’ – Gerry Lopez

With (almost) crystal clear waters, 300 miles of spectacular Cornish coastline, and Escape Surf School at your disposal, you really can get involved during Boardmasters and experience surfing for yourself without feeling out of place.

We did and we are truly converted. This gal is already excited to leave London behind next August and head to the surf at Boardmasters 2018 to get back on her magic carpet (aka surf board).

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