Yahoo News 'I Breastfed My Children – But These Are 4 Things No One Told Me’
Happy World Breastfeeding Week. To mark the occasion, Women's Health contributor and mum-of-two, Carly Lewis-Oduntan, gives her take on the things that need to change in the breastfeeding conversation, to help people new to it.
To be clear: of course, for some women, nursing is not possible, and this is not something that should ever be shamed or dismissed.
Before I ever became a mum I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. The old adage 'breast is best' is something I’d always remembered, even before I really knew what it meant. But later, when I became pregnant and looked into the science, I saw the medley of nutrients–including proteins, enzymes, vitamins and minerals–that our milk contains, and this confirmed my decision.
My thinking was in line with the Royal College of Midwives and the World Health Organisation (WHO), the former of which says that: 'Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby’s life is the most appropriate method of infant feeding.’
The upshot? My children–now age four and 21 months, respectively–were breastfed until they were six months old. I mixed nursing with solid food for my eldest until she was one, and did the same, with my youngest. I say all this with zero intention of passing judgement on women who cannot or choose not to breastfeed, which is something that happens for myriad valid reasons and should never be used to put anyone down.
Need help with breastfeeding? Contact the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212 (9.30am to 9.30pm, daily)
Rather, it's to highlight that, although I’m an advocate for breastfeeding, I think there’s a serious lack of transparency around it. When I was expecting the first time round, I remember listening to the midwife at my prenatal class discuss the benefits of this type of feeding– but that’s where all talk on the subject stopped. There were no caveats or forewarnings. Nothing to indicate the way breastfeeding completely changes a mother’s life.
That’s why, this World Breastfeeding Week, I believe it’s important to share some of the key things we need to be frank about when it comes to nursing. To offer you some clarity, I enlisted the help of two experts to help me dissect some of the difficulties that breastfeeding people face.
1. Nipple soreness happens–even when your baby latches correctly
I’m not just talking about a little soreness. I’m talking toe-curling, thigh-slapping pain. There were times when I was literally bought to tears as my daughter latched on. So when my health visitor told me that I was doing everything correctly, yet my Google results kept reiterating that you should only feel pain if the latch is wrong, I felt slighted. However, after speaking with other mums, I learned I wasn’t alone.
‘Nipple pain is one of the most common reasons mums stop breastfeeding,’ says The Modern Midwife Marie Louise. ‘Most mums experience some sort of nipple discomfort during breastfeeding, even when the baby is latched on well. Often people will say how breastfeeding takes some time to establish, but the sensation of how it actually feels to have a newborn suction-attached to your nipple is sometimes forgotten.’
2. Feeds can take a lot longer than you think
Want to test your ability to scare a grown adult out of their wits? Simply utter the phrase 'cluster feeding' to someone who is breastfeeding and wait for their reaction. Before I had a baby I had no clue what cluster feeding was, and it wasn’t until I read about it in an online forum that I realised it was what my baby was doing.
For those out of the loop, Dr Sophie Niedermaier-Patramani, Co-Founder and In-House Paediatrician at Little Tummy, explains: ‘Cluster feeding is when a baby demands several breastfeeds in a short amount of time. It happens most often in the late afternoons or evenings and is not only caused by the baby being hungry but also needing more comfort after an eventful day.
'Cluster feeds can help babies to soothe themselves and they’re more common in the first three months of a baby’s life.’ A real-life example is when I fed my daughter on and off for four consecutive hours the night she was born. Fun times.
3. You might experience loneliness and isolation
Exclusively breastfeeding is demanding and all-consuming. At times, it can feel like it has taken over your life. When your baby is relying solely on you for food, you can’t go anywhere or do anything by yourself for longer than a couple of hours. That means no seeing friends without your baby, no lengthy gym sessions, no date nights and often no alone time even when you’re at home.
‘The responsibility of being the only one able to feed your baby can cause breastfeeding mums to feel like their life now revolves around feeding their baby,’ says Louise. ‘Lots of women report the feeling of a loss of identity. Life as they knew it has changed drastically and they are still sharing their body with someone else. The expectation of having and feeding a baby can be very different from the reality of it.’
4. Babies can struggle to breastfeed
As if all that weren’t complicated enough, your baby may physically struggle to breastfeed, which is likely the last thing you’d expect. As Louise explains: ‘Learning to breastfeed is not just a new skill for mum; babies are also learning. They are born ready to feed and with various reflexes that support this but nonetheless it’s still a new experience for them.
‘Some babies take to the breast easier than others, and various factors affect this–such as type of birth, pain relief in labour, gestation and birth weight. Some babies also have tongue tie [when the strip of skin that connects the baby's tongue to the bottom of their mouth is too short] and this is currently a hot topic in maternity, as diagnosis of it has rapidly increased. It can restrict the tongue's movement, making it harder to breastfeed.’
Though it may not sound like it, I have no desire to put you off breastfeeding. I do, however, believe that those who would like to do so deserve to have a more realistic idea of what they can expect. Early parenthood is full of highs, lows and lots of complex emotions in-between.
It's time we acknowledged that breastfeeding is no different.
Where can I get help with breastfeeding?
If you're struggling with breastfeeding, know that there are places to turn to. The NHS advises you:
Talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP
Contact the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212 (9.30am to 9.30pm, daily)
Contact a local Sure Start Children's Centre or Family Information Service, as these often have lists of local breastfeeding groups and activities.
You can also search here, for breastfeeding support services
What does the Royal College of Midwives say?
In 2018, the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) published their position on breastfeeding. Topline? That they understand breast to be the most 'appropriate' form of feeding for the first six months of a baby's life, but that women who cannot or choose not to breastfeed must be respected and supported.
Here is their statement in part: but you can read the whole thing, should you wish to.
'Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby’s life is the most appropriate method of infant feeding. Breastfeeding should continue alongside complementary foods for up to two years, in line with the World Health Organisation (WHO) and UK departments of health recommendations to promote and support breastfeeding.
'As with other areas of maternity care, midwives and maternity support workers should promote informed choice. If, after being given appropriate information, advice and support on breastfeeding, a woman chooses not to do so, or to give formula as well as breastfeeding, her choice must be respected.
'Breastfeeding mothers and their partners should be given information and support to help manage the physical, mental, emotional and societal challenges of breastfeeding. Similarly, those parents of infants that are formula-fed, whether exclusively or partially, should be provided with the information to enable them to do so safely and be given support to encourage the bonding process.'
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