A bride who uninvited her trans sister from her wedding to appease their conservative parents has been eviscerated by her fellow Reddit users.
The woman shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum, where she explained that she has a trans sister who came out around a year ago.
She explained that her sister hid her gender identity from her family until she had moved out into her own place, “probably because our parents are very conservative and known to be transphobic“.
When her sister came out, there was a “huge fight” and “a ton of people” in the family, including their parents, cut her off and refused to talk to her.
The Redditor insisted that she’s been “pretty supportive” of her sister since she transitioned. She even promised her sister that she would be invited to her wedding if and when she got married “despite any tension” with the rest of the family.
That all changed once the woman and her fiancé got engaged.
Woman was given an ‘ultimatum’ by her transphobic parents
“After the proposal… my parents, who are wedding planners, started talking with me about planning the big day and even offered to pay for everything,” the woman wrote.
“I mentioned wanting to invite my sister, and they shut the idea down immediately, talking about how she disrespected the family and cut them off and all that.
“They basically gave me an ultimatum: have my wedding planned and paid for buy them or have my sister there and they don’t come at all.
“I took my parents’ offer, because I can’t really afford to pay for an entire wedding and because my fiancé pressured me to accept it,” she added.
“I broke the news to my sister, and she’s very understandably upset, but I’m still inviting her to a separate afterparty over Zoom so we can still be together on the big day.”
The woman closed out her post by saying she’s still feeling “really guilty” about her decision, which is why she decided to ask Reddit for its thoughts on her decision.
Naturally, the woman’s fellow Redditors were quick to declare that she is an “a**hole”.
One person suggested that the original poster is “just as transphobic as the rest of them” but is trying to make herself feel better.
But perhaps the best comment came from a user called LimitlessMegan, who said the woman doesn’t seem to understand what a difficult position her sister is in.
“You’re right, you can’t be blamed for your parents’ transphobia,” the Reddit user wrote. “But you can be blamed for marrying someone just like them. You can be blamed for not using the clout of getting married to someone they love to insist your sister is involved. And you sure [as f**k] can be blamed for throwing your sister away so that you can have a big blow out party.”
Another Reddit user said the debacle is a classic example of “failed allyship”, while others said they hope her trans sister will find people who love her for who she really is.
The woman later posted an edit to her original post to defend herself, saying she didn’t think she had made it clear just how “overbearing” her parents are.
“Just saying ‘no’ to them wasn’t really an option for me, and if I’d declined their offer, they simply wouldn’t have come to whatever smaller wedding I managed to plan, which would have been even worse,” she wrote.
“I’m going to turn off notifications for this post because people keep misconstruing my position and ignoring how difficult of a position I’m in. I hope you all are happy.”