Bullied teen told parents 'I don't like people out there' before he tragically took his own life

The parents of a ‘shy’ teenager who took his own life have said the pain "never goes away". Nathan Wilson was 17 when he tragically took his own life, in February 2013, on the same day he was due to be visited by support workers.

With better-funded schools and mental health services, a bigger clampdown on bullying and a more open attitude to suicide and its causes, his parents Len and Gail believe their son’s death – and the majority of others – could have been prevented.

Len, 72, from Waterloo, believes Nathan, like his twin Curtis, had Asperger’s syndrome and was bullied for not fitting in at school, which led to him feeling depressed and wanting to exclude himself from the outside world.

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As the end of February approached in 2013, Len said Nathan “was walking around the house with his hood up all the time, he didn't care. He thought he was a lad. He was trying to hide himself.”

On the morning of February 27, 2013, Len went to work as normal as a joiner. He received a phone call that afternoon from Gail. Two youth workers had been due to visit Nathan and Curtis that afternoon at the family home, but Nathan, wasn’t there.

Len said: “It was only after tea time and there was no sign of him that we went to the police station. Normally you’d say wait for 24 hours before reporting someone as missing, but I said, he's not streetwise, he hasn't been out of the house for 12 months.”

After waiting at the police station for a few hours, Len and Gail were told that a body had been found, and they were taken to hospital to see if it was Nathan. It transpired that Nathan had taken his own life.

After his death, they found a note written seven months before he took his own life. It was the only thing not deleted from his computer and in it he spoke about how low he felt.

On what Nathan and Curtis were like when they were growing up, Len said: “They were happy boys. But they were always very shy. Chronically shy really. They'd say to each other, you go and get my sweets from the shop. They were very shy but they had each other.

"When they went through adolescence, obviously there's a change in your body. From the age of 13 and 14 they gradually lost friends but they had each other. There was something different about them.”

Len said his two boys became increasingly isolated as they were bullied by other children at their school and authorities stepped in when Curtis stopped going.

Curtis began being assessed for Asperger's syndrome, a condition forming part of the autistic spectrum. Len said: “We didn't even know what Asperger’s was. I'd never heard of it before. Nathan was missing school sporadically, but still going.

“When it was said that Curtis possibly had Asperger’s, Gail said to one of the social workers if Curtis has it, so does Nathan, because they had the same traits.”

However, the focus remained on Curtis. Nathan continued to struggle with what he was going through, and soon he began to miss school more frequently.

Len and Gail meanwhile found it difficult to help Nathan as he became increasingly withdrawn. Len said: “Nathan never got over the bullying. When we were saying about maybe trying to do something, go on courses, this was for both of them, but we used to speak to them separately. Nathan used to say, I don't like people out there.

“Those are Nathan's words. It made him consider what he'd say was a hostile world. He just didn't like people out there and he couldn't face it.”

Curtis was officially diagnosed with Asperger’s in 2016. For several years now, Len and Gail have worked closely with Warrington -based national charity PAPYRUS, standing for the Prevention of Young Suicide. They help organise a yearly run in Crosby for the charity in Nathan’s memory, which Len says is always well supported.

In recent years, former Liverpool FC defender Jamie Carragher has turned up to show his support for the cause. Len feels progress has been made.

He said: “I've been a runner for years. I said, I'd like to try and set up a 10k run in memory of Nathan. A lot of parkrun people and people from Sefton Council helped us, because I didn't have a clue how to set up a run. It's grown since then. We do a 10k and a 5k. It's grown from 90 odd runners for the first year to up to about 300-400 runners this year.

“I think it does help the more people talk about it. It used to be a taboo word, suicide. Now people will talk about it. We talk about it on the radio. People are open to talk about it in public.

However for Len and Gail Nathan's death will always be an "open wound". Len added: "It doesn't go away, it doesn't get any better, it's just you learn to cope with it. That's all. With me and Gail, we both have bad days when you're really upset. Sometimes it's a record, just hearing songs that I can't listen to.

“Some days are worse than others. It never goes away. There's a void in your life that can never be filled. 75% of couples split up after the loss of a child.

“That goes up to about 90% or something like that if it is suicide. I've tried to analyse it, no one's ever told me this, but I think it's worse because you feel as though there's something you could have done.

“And maybe there's nothing we could have done, but we should have had help. You feel like you've failed. But we're still together. "We've managed to stay together through thick and thin.”

Len feels Nathan will never be forgotten thanks to the yearly run. He said: “His memory lives on with other people. I think even in his absence, in his death, maybe he can do good, from beyond, if you believe in the beyond.”

You can find out more about the charity run in memory of Nathan here. For practical, confidential suicide prevention help and advice, you can contact HOPELINEUK247 on 0800 068 4141, text 88247 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org