If women refuse to tell the truth about their abortions in Ireland, we’ll never win bodily autonomy from the state

The Eighth Amendment to the Irish Constitution is the reason I had to leave Ireland and travel to the UK when I needed an abortion. I was 18, in a relationship and the contraception we were using failed. The Eighth Amendment was voted for in 1983 after contraception had been made legal in Ireland in 1980. The conservative forces, accustomed to locking away women and girls like me in mother and baby homes and Magdalene laundries, were worried that abortion would become legal too.

So they put pressure on politicians to insert a clause into the constitution which would make abortion legal only if there is a direct threat to a pregnant person’s life, ruling out abortion being made legal in cases of rape or in instances of fatal foetal abnormality, while compromising the wellbeing and medical consent of all pregnant people in Ireland.

The Eighth Amendment has caused suffering for hundreds of thousands of women all over Ireland. I know I am one of at least 170,000 who travelled to the UK and gave an Irish address. Not all of us do, some give a friend or family member’s UK address or some travel to the Netherlands. Women who until very recently didn’t share their stories.

To change attitudes and laws when abortion is illegal, it takes women standing up and telling their truth – that they had an abortion. With abortion having been so heavily stigmatised here in Ireland, it has taken a lot of courage to do so, especially when having one at home (which people do by ordering pills online) currently carries a 14-year criminal sentence.

I was one of the lucky ones. I was saving up to go to university and I knew I wasn’t ready to be a parent yet. I had money, a passport, I was able to get time off work and I was able to get the information to make the appointment with a BPAS clinic. Many more don’t have those things and are forced to continue a pregnancy against their will or resort to desperate measures.

This coming Friday 25 May we are being given a chance to vote Yes to remove this cruel amendment, so that we can finally have legislation which will make abortion available in Ireland in line with the care provided in the majority of modern EU countries. It has taken many years to convince the political parties and people that this is what is needed to provide essential healthcare in Ireland.

When I started sharing my story I was scared. I got support from friends and family, but I did have strangers saying the horrid things I had expected. What I did not expect was the solidarity and kind messages from so many others, some of whom shared their stories of having to travel to the UK with me. There are thousands of us who have travelled – everyone knows someone – and we are done being silent.

At one of the marches for choice I carried the banner at the front with my teenage daughter. She had argued with me that this was about her rights too. That day we marched with thousands, all who supported my choice and wanted to remove the Eighth Amendment, so that if needed my daughter could get care here at home in Ireland.

She isn’t old enough to vote, so my Yes vote is also for her and everyone who may ever need an abortion. I hope that my country will be a kinder place to all pregnant people after the Eighth Amendment is removed.