Chelmsford dad says there 'isn't enough information' on surrogacy as he documents his own
A devoted dad has documented his journey to have a child via surrogate after he found there was a 'lack of information' about the process. Kevin Pittuck-Bennett and his husband, from Chelmsford, Essex, welcomed their daughter in November 2024.
The couple's surrogacy journey began on January 1, 2021, when they began investigating what avenues they could take. Kevin, 46, has made videos explaining the surrogate process to help others and for his daughter to look back on.
He said: "It was a steep learning curve. I wouldn't change it for the world as we have a big community of friends around us with children born in a similar way."
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"There was from the start, there was a desire on my part to document and show people what it was like. I don't want other people to be as naïve and blind as I was."
Surrogacy laws were introduced in the UK in 1985 and commercial surrogacy - where surrogates are paid a fee - is illegal in this country. However it is not illegal to pay expenses to the surrogate.
The law states a surrogate is deemed the legal mother when the baby is born and a parental order must be made to transfer legal parentage. Kevin, who works in marketing, said it took four years from the start of the process to bring his daughter into the world.
He has documented the couple's journey on YouTube to provide information on the process for others following his own experience. His videos detail the terminology, the process of searching for a surrogate and cost amongst others.
The father-of-one said: "In the beginning, it was frustrating in terms of us not having a clear path of what we had to do. Most of the information you will find is geared at American market and the rules are completely different."
"A big surprise was me was finding out that two thirds of people going through surrogacy are straight couples with fertility issues. It also didn't even occur to me you'd be massively invading the lives of the surrogate - and their family and friends. The process is complex. I wanted to create a resource for people to access whenever they decide to start their journey."
Kevin and his husband have kept in touch with their surrogate and said they'll always be a part of each other's lives. He explained: "We love our surrogate for doing this. She'll always be in our lives and we'll always be there for her. We weren't allowed out of the hospital at first because no one knew what to do with us."
"They saw two men and a baby and were asking where the mum was. Our surrogate had already gone home because she was well enough to. It was in our birth plan that we would be taking our daughter home."
"It would help if the resources were a bit more transparent and the costs of surrogacy are always hazy when finding information out. It would help everyone if there was more clarity."
As for his daughter, Kevin said she was 'good as gold'. He added: "I do have this fear that we're renting her and at some point she's going to have to go back."
"It's been such a long time coming that it is still hard to believe even at three in the morning with her poo under your fingernails." For more of Kevin's insights and experiences, you can view his YouTube videos at his channel.