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Confessions from the City: The email hoaxer who duped Staley and Carney on his next target

Barclays chief Jes Staley was caught out by an email prank: REUTERS
Barclays chief Jes Staley was caught out by an email prank: REUTERS

I’ve fooled two of the biggest names in the City, not from a prankster’s lair stroking a drone and observing pinned-up effigies of my nemeses but from my bedroom watching Netflix.

My Barclays feud is a long story that centres on a meeting I had with one of their advisers when I admitted I had a runaway gambling problem compounded by mental health issues.

They offered no help or protection, even though I was spending five times my monthly salary.

Flash forward a few months: my partner is in hospital for a serious operation and I’m £15,200 in debt and hypnotised by the roulette wheel.

Angry but fruitless conversations with Barclays followed. I emailed Staley, who I’d never heard of, multiple times, receiving one extremely brief response: “we will review, thanks.” In my final email, I had said I’d planned a crescendo for Barclays’ AGM (with no concrete plan).

I forgot about my promise but noticed a news story following the AGM about the grilling Staley had received.

Within seconds, I’d set up a Gmail address in the chairman’s name, my mind splitting off to imagine where he and Jes would be.

Would they be out sharing a clandestine dinner in some gentlemen’s club? Or would they have gone their separate ways, drained by the proceedings, now unwinding in a chesterfield, swilling a scotch.

“The fool doth think he is wise” was always my favourite Shakespearean quote, so that went in the subject line.

The rest of the message just seemed to write itself in seconds. I hit send and relaxed back on the bed, watching a shark documentary on Netflix.

My heart did a little skip on his reply: the hook was now firmly in his cheek. “What are you up to?” my partner enquired suspiciously.

Knowing I had, at best, one last reply from Jes, I decided I needed to push the bizarre button and go all in. A poem, I thought, but one that spells out whistleblower. Right, W. Err… and off I went. Ping! In came the last reply.

The next day I sent him an email from my normal self with the subject line “Old slowhand is back”, (referring to his fawning reference to the chairman having “the fearlessness of Eric Clapton”). The emails weren’t just about getting attention — it’s a skill I’ve honed from years of pranking friends and colleagues.

Carney was just in the wrong job at the wrong time. I was shocked how little security infrastructure I’d come up against with Jes, so I picked on the largest bastion of tradition and apparent fortification: the Bank of England.

Would access to their CEO prove trickier? Again, I was worried I would be rumbled straightaway if Anthony Habgood was sitting next to Carney.

I’d forgotten I had sent the message, so I was surprised when Mark replied. I think he perhaps rumbled my ruse prior to sending the “not appropriate” comment. If so, I salute how well he saved the situation.

As for future pranks... there will definitely be some. But I’m having a week off first.