David Beckham says making docuseries helped him 'forgive myself' and 'let go' of past guilt

The retired athlete writes that he wasn't "fully prepared" for the process.

David Beckham's 2023 Netflix docuseries, titled simply Beckham, was meant to tell the story of the retired soccer star's life, but it ended up changing it.

"I wouldn't say that making this documentary gave me closure because I still feel pain from those moments. But it did allow me to forgive myself and let go of some of that guilt," Beckham wrote in a column published Wednesday in The Hollywood Reporter. "After the premiere, my mum pulled me aside and reassured me, 'You don’t need to feel bad anymore.' Those words make me feel emotional to this day."

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The four-part series delves into everything from the British star's depression, his tumultuous run with the team Real Madrid, and his marriage with Spice Girl-turned-designer Victoria Beckham.

People had been asking him about a doc on his life since he retired in 2013, wrote Beckham, 49. After a decade had passed, he thought he was finally ready to "create something for my family to look back on that brought everything we experienced together in one place."

He connected with director Fisher Stevens, who had a "raw approach" that sometimes made him "uncomfortable," so it wasn't easy.

<p>Edward Berthelot/Getty</p> David Beckham

Edward Berthelot/Getty

David Beckham

Beckham noted that he grew up in a time when people didn't discuss mental health.

"I must admit I wasn't fully prepared for the depth of commitment and emotional energy this process would require. It was challenging and at times, hard," he wrote. "I spent over 50 hours with Fisher, and every time I saw a session with him in my diary, I would try and come up with ways to get out of it! After each interview I found myself needing time alone to decompress. Reflecting on both the highs and lows of my life and career was — at times — mentally and emotionally draining."

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The inspiration for Bend It Like Beckham specifically cited the aftermath of the 1998 World Cup game in which England played Argentina. The game was tied up when Beckham got a red card for kicking a rival. His team ended up losing after a shoot-out, and Beckham endured serious backlash from the public. He described it as "immense vitriol."

Still, the doc was rewarding for the global superstar.

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"This was the first time I had truly confronted some pretty monumental moments in my life, and it was therapeutic," Beckham wrote.

He said the time between the events happening and his analysis was needed. And that he's "incredibly proud" of the result.

The Television Academy liked the result, too. Beckham is up for five trophies at this year's awards, including several in technical categories and one for Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Series.

Netflix announced Aug. 21 that it was beginning production on a documentary series focused on Victoria Beckham that follows her fashion and beauty empire. No premiere date was given.

Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly.