Yahoo News Dear Coleen: My grown up kids are unhappy that I'm getting married again
I’m a man aged 69 and have two grown-up daughters in their 30s. Sadly, my wife died nearly 10 years ago and I’ve been single ever since, although I have a good social network and my friends all stuck by me.
About a year ago, I met a special woman and we spend a lot of time together and have tentatively set a date to get married next year. We’re very happy, but my daughters aren’t on board with it. It took a while for them to adjust to the fact I have a partner, but I don’t think they imagined we’d marry.
They keep asking me if I’m sure and say they don’t see the point at my age. It’s all ruining what should be a happy time. I feel it’s very unfair after I devoted my time to taking care of them when their mum passed away.
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We have planned an engagement party for December because we want to share our happiness with our friends and family, but my daughters are saying they don’t know if they’ll be there.
I love my kids beyond question, but I think they’re being unfair, especially as my fiancee is the loveliest, kindest person you could meet. Any ideas?
Coleen says
You deserve to be happy and to marry your partner and it’s such a shame your daughters can’t be pleased that you’re getting this second chance. I’m sure they’re busy living their lives and you’re entitled to live yours – would they rather you sat on your own at home every night?
I think this calls for a bit of tough love, I’m afraid. They need to put their big girl pants on and think about you. This marriage doesn’t mean you love them (or your late wife) any less and, although that seems obvious, maybe they need a reminder of that.
In an ideal world, you want everyone to get along, but you might have to accept that your daughters and your wife-to-be will never be the best of friends, and that’s OK. However, none of this should make you doubt your decision or change your plans.
Don’t allow them to make you feel guilty because you have nothing to feel guilty about. I’m sure the party will be great and you’ll have plenty of folk there who will want to celebrate with you.
And I hope once your daughters realise there’s no turning back, they’ll give your fiancee a proper chance and try to get to know her better. Good luck and congratulations.
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