It’s Snatch Game day on Drag Race UK and to be honest, we’re not k hun.
It’s week seven of lockdown, heading into week two of not being about to get “bing bang bong” out of our head, and things are only about to get weirder with the arrival of Drag Race UK season two’s Snatch Game.
That’s right: the challenge that sorts the wheat from the chaff and the Maggie Thatchers from the David Attenboroughs is here, and for our collective sanity, it couldn’t arrive a minute sooner.
Of course, we know nothing about who RuPaul will welcome to the Drag Race UK stage tonight – though our fingers are crossed for Jane McDonald, Kat Slater and Alison Hammond. What we do know, however, is who we might have seen had RuPaul not sent Joe Black, Cherry Valentine and Asttina Mandella packing (and if Ginny Lemon hadn’t given herself the boot).
Joe Black would have been Tallulah Bankhead or Mystic Meg.
Last week’s returning Drag Race UK queen told PinkNews: “I auditioned with Mystic Meg, and in the video I get possessed, my table starts floating and my eyes go white. I might put it online at some point. Edith Piaf was my other audition – who Rita Baga did on Canada.
“But I brought Tallulah Bankhead, that was my main one. She was an actress from the ’30s who was maybe a little bit too wild for films, so she was in the world of theatre, she did a film, and then her last onscreen appearance was in the 60s Batman as Black Widow. And, you know, I’m always partial to a husky voiced women, with her chronic bronchitis and wild endeavours and infamously bisexual illicit affairs with women in Hollywood. I think she was an unsung queer icon.”
Cherry Valentine planned Gillian McKeith or Nikki Grahame.
Cherry told PinkNews: “It was between Gillian McKeith in the jungle and Nikki Grahame when she was in Big Brother. I had both outfits, I was just going to decide how I felt on the day.”
Asttina Mandella had three choices for Snatch Game.
As if we weren’t gutted enough about Asttina’s elimination, the East London queen told us: “I had three choices: Mel B, Rickey Thompson, and if neither of those worked I was going to Azealia Banks.
“I had no idea how I was going to do her, all I knew was that having Azealia Banks on Snatch Game would have been one of the most controversial things you could probably have. It would make good TV!”
Ginny Lemon had a surprise up her sleeve.
PinkNews was catching up with Ginny Lemon about her Drag Race UK exit when the spirit of Cilla Black appeared to take over.
“Well, I dunno chuck,” she replied when we asked who she’d have done for Snatch Game, taking on an eerily familiar Scouse accent.
“That’s very, very hard to say, but surprise, surprise, it’s me, Cilla Black! [Sings] What’s it all about Alfie? Do you know, I’ve had sex with all the Beatles, I’ve even licked out Ringo Starr! Oh chuck!
“Of course I’d be the one and only Cilla Black because I am a huge Cilla Black fan, I have a very famous and controversial hit called “Cilla Black”, a song I wrote a couple of years ago, and I would do my fans justice by doing a lovely interpretation of our chuck, Cilla!”
Drag Race UK continues Thursday at 7pm on BBC iPlayer with the Snatch Game.