'We dread the nights': Life under Israeli bombardment as Gazans live through the 'madness' again

·2-min read

Laila Barhoum, a humanitarian worker and human rights advocate in Gaza, describes her feelings of "dread" and "injustice" as the region is pounded by Israeli air strikes.

In Gaza, we always joke about the fact we shouldn't ask "What worse can happen?" as it seems that we are always proven wrong.

But our worse this time came unexpectedly with innocent people losing their lives.

Last week, we were preparing for Eid, buying chocolate, children getting new clothes and mothers cooking Eid cookies.

This would have contributed to making happy memories. Memories that are now replaced with images of destruction, fear and death.

The fact that what is happening is happening again because we had been failed by the international community makes it even worse. Knowing that hundreds of innocent people who lost their lives this time and many times before could have been alive now, celebrating Eid with us.

Every day we dread the nights, as with them comes the worst targeting and airstrikes, when we hear the numbers of people killed rising. When we see women and children running, screaming, and houses and buildings turning into dust.

I look around me at my nieces while thinking they live an occupation that I was born under. That I am moving toward my 40s while they are marking their first years, yet we are both suffering from the same injustice.

Thinking that you are trying to make the world a better place for them because it wasn't made better for you makes you feel sad and frustrated.

No one feels safe in Gaza, and no place is safe in Gaza.

There are no shelters, no places away from any air strikes. And this is a feeling you carry with you all day long, while you are trying to make sense of what you are going through.

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We have been failed and forgotten for decades, which is why we live through this madness again.

The lives of generations of young people and children are shaped by loss, fear and injustice.

These are the lost generations, who only saw what a normal life looks like through a screen. These are the generations who wait for the sun to rise every night so they can breathe.

Israel says it only attacks targets containing Gaza militant groups - who have been launching hundreds of rockets at Israel. It says it makes strenuous efforts to avoid civilian casualties such as giving people advance warning and chance to evacuate.