EastEnders: We Need To Talk About Kush's Fertility
Last night’s episode of EastEnders left viewers picking their jaws up from the floor after Denise discovered that she was pregnant, seemingly after a one-night-stand with her best friend’s son, Kush Kazemi.
We mean, they’ve definitely gone for the drama stakes, that’s for sure.
However, there is a bigger problem with this plotline than the staggering age gap, and that is the fact that Kush is apparently the most fertile man in the history of, well, the world.
You see, this is the third child that Kush has fathered as a result of a one night stand in two years on Albert Square, that’s basically enough to guarantee a pregnancy after one bonk with the market stall hearthrob.
In case you’ve forgotten, Shabnam Masood let her emotions get the best of her and slept with Kush, who was her boyfriend at the time, before they got married. Sadly the couple were left heartbroken when she suffered a tragic miscarriage.
To make matters even worse for the grieving pair, it was revealed that Shabnam’s best friend, Stacey Branning, was expecting Kush’s son following a drunken night of passion when he and Shabnam had split.
Now Super Sperm Kush has struck again, with viewers seeing him and Denise give into temptation mere weeks ago before Denise cooled their relationship off because she couldn’t face betraying his mum’s trust.
Needless to say, viewers are not impressed with the latest Walford development:
Lol kush has got Denise pregnant he may be the most fertile man in Walford #EastEnders
— Danielle S. Deane (@danielle_deane) August 31, 2016
Is Kush planning on getting every woman in Walford pregnant? #EastEnders
— S K Y L A R (@SSKY77) August 30, 2016
Kush is just breeding up the square #EastEnders
— Persephone Spica (@SpicaPersephone) August 30, 2016
LOL Kush is well fertile #EastEnders
— Zoe Taylor (@zoesusantaylor) August 30, 2016
I just knew Denise was pregnant… Kush what are you doing impregnating everyone on the square ??? #Eastenders
— H e n n a ⚜ (@babarhenna05) August 30, 2016
How many children will kush father before 40? #eastenders
— Ruby Pullen (@wondaarubz_) August 30, 2016
EastEnders have made kush into a sperm donor #EastEnders
— Mahria (@Mahria_Maroon5) August 30, 2016
Kush is getting the whole square up the duff. #EastEnders
— Kelly Florentia (@kellyflorentia) August 30, 2016
Three pregnancies within a year for Kush #EastEnders need to leave this guy alone lol
— DA (@DeolaAdebayo_) August 30, 2016
Kush, single handedly impregnating the women of Walford #EastEnders
— Kim (@HeyLookItsShamy) August 30, 2016
If kush is the dad he is not the kind of guy you can have just one night with, Stacey shabnam and now maybe Denise #EastEnders
— Jack Round (@Jackround4397) August 30, 2016
Kush has some really strong sperm. #EastEnders
— Belle (@BlaBlaBelle) August 30, 2016
KUSH IS A BABY MAKING MACHINE #EastEnders
— Rebecca Joubert (@BeckyBeckaBex) August 30, 2016
There is another theory that Denise is actually pregnant with Phil Mitchell’s baby, which would certainly make for a much less outrageous storyline, but considering the pair did the deed four months ago, fans of the show have argued that it is too far into her pregnancy for Denise to only just be seeing the signs.
Still, we’re going to keep our fingers crossed for there being a Mitchell bun in the oven, because we really don’t think that we can handle another ‘Kush is a dad’ story…