Edinburgh woman 'swaps home with people in different countries' to date in Europe

A woman who found her home dating scene challenging has spiced up her love life by working remotely in romantic European cities, thanks to a home-swapping website.

Kirst Irvine, 40, originally from Newcastle, compared Edinburgh, where she now lives, to a "village" with a limited dating pool, often having to "cross-check" with her single friends to avoid dating each other's exes.

But after discovering HomeExchange, a platform that facilitates home swaps overseas, Kirst decided to give it a go and started spending up to a month at a time in various European cities to work and explore different dating scenes.

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Using dating apps like Bumble and occasionally Hinge, the senior marketing manager has connected with local men, enjoying romantic Vespa rides through Paris at night, spontaneous margarita dates on Thursdays, and charming home-cooked meals.

She's also had some odd experiences, such as a man buying her dark chocolates on their first date as an intended aphrodisiac, and another in Berlin suggesting they have their first date at a popular spa. Kirst believes ghosting is an "international phenomenon" after a month-long relationship in the German capital ended abruptly when he "vanished".

Despite not finding Mr Right yet, she remains resilient and undeterred, setting her sights on her travel plans for 2025.

Kirst, who relocated to Edinburgh from London a decade ago, found the dating scene challenging. Speaking to PA Real

Life, she said: "You should try to increase the surface area for serendipity. I'm meeting more people, I'm expanding my community, and while I don't want to be single at this age, I've found the tools to keep life varied and lively, experience living in new places and build a life I really like." She added that it "keeps life interesting."

Edinburgh's population of around half a million made finding single men in their late 30s and early 40s feel challenging, according to Kirst.

"You see the same faces over and over again and you also have to cross-check with your other single girlfriends," she explained.

Locals often refer to Edinburgh as a village, which can make dating difficult.

There were times when Kirst would tell her friends about a new man she was seeing, only to discover they had already encountered him. "You can be out for brunch with a girlfriend and say you're going out with a guy next week, but they've slept with him a couple of years ago or they've crossed paths - the dating pool is quite small," she revealed.

"The dating apps also aren't on your side sometimes and it feels like some people have dating app fatigue."

Two years ago, Kirst began working as a senior marketing manager at a company she chose not to name. However, she commended her employer for its flexible work policy, allowing staff to "work from anywhere, any time".

With newfound freedom, she was inspired to explore different areas by working remotely and diving into the dating scene in new locations. This led her to HomeExchange, following a recommendation from a friend.

She began by swapping her two-bedroom, two-bathroom flat in Edinburgh for a similar property in London for three weeks in July 2023, before moving on to Paris for a fortnight in October 2023. This was followed by a two-week trip to Lisbon in March 2024, a week in Amsterdam in July, and most recently, a month in Berlin in September.

While Kirst has to ensure she meets her work commitments, she described the process as "brilliant".

"It allows me to experience what life is like living and working in other cities because you can get under the skin a little bit," she explained.

To feel more at home in a new place, Kirst visits co-working office spaces and gym classes, and also ventures onto dating apps such as Bumble, and occasionally Hinge, to meet local suitors.

"You just have to put yourself out there and be spontaneous - I've had lots of matches and it's a great confidence boost," she said.

During her first date in Paris, one man picked her up on his Vespa and drove her through the city streets at night before they stopped for wine. "That was pretty magical. Even though the actual date itself wasn't amazing, that will stay with me," she remembered.

"Vespas have featured quite heavily in my dating abroad - a guy I dated in Berlin for a month had a Vespa and we spent weekends hopping on and off, a coffee here, a beer there.

"I dated a guy who picked me up in his Tesla and we went for margaritas on a Thursday night, I've been cooked for in people's homes, it's been fun.

"Being British and blonde - even though it's by no means exotic - you do stand out a bit."

However, she recounted some unusual experiences: "In Berlin, I went on a date with a guy who came on really strong and bought me dark chocolates because he said we could use them for an aphrodisiac later... he did not achieve his aim."

"There's also a really famous spa in Germany called Vabali and because it's Europe, you don't wear swimwear. One guy suggested we go native and go there for our first date."

"I'm pretty bold but not that bold. "

"While I'm up for fun dates, I also keep in mind my safety and ultimately I'm looking to meet someone more serious."

Despite the thrills of dating overseas, Kirst admits it's not without its downfalls.

"Ghosting is an international phenomenon and it never gets any easier," she said.

"I've had dates arranged in the diary only for the guy to delete our chat and disappear, not having the decency to cancel."

Bouncing back from such setbacks without close support can be difficult, she admitted.

A whirlwind month-long romance in Berlin left Kirst feeling downhearted when it "vanished into thin air", which she described as "brutal". She believes that, in the face of modern dating challenges, being one's own support system is crucial.

"When ghosting happens or a guy behaves badly, you have to be your own cheerleader and get back on the horse," she asserted.

Despite some disappointing experiences, Kirst advocates for the adventurous approach she took to dating.
"You have to be quite resilient, you have to be comfortable about putting yourself out there," she said.

"Doing this has allowed me to flex my lifestyle and keep it affordable - it also supports my attitude that you just don't know what's around the corner.

Even without finding 'the one' yet, Kirst remains hopeful: "I'm yet to meet the one but I'm an optimist... I'm already thinking about where I might go in 2025."

Reflecting on Kirst's experience, Jessica Poillucci, PR manager at HomeExchange, said: "HomeExchange advises people considering home-swapping to check the legalities of working remotely from your intended destination.

"Some countries may require specific visas or permits if you're planning to work, even if it's just remotely for your home company.

"It's also worth noting working from a different jurisdiction can also have tax implications.

"With regards to both visas or permits and tax, it's important to bear in mind the length of your stay as this can have an impact on both of these areas."