Eduardo Xol's “Extreme Makeover” Costar Tanya McQueen Opens Up About 'Shock' After His Death Following Stabbing (Exclusive)

"He was like a brother to me," the designer tells PEOPLE, recalling how they "leaned on" each other while working together on the series

Tanya McQueen, the costar of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition star Eduardo Xol, is opening up about his sudden death earlier this month at age 58.

Speaking with PEOPLE, the designer talked candidly about how "shocking" the news of Xol's death was.

"This has just been quite a shock, I'm telling you," McQueen, 52, says. "Just still processing all of it."

Xol died in a fatal stabbing on Sept. 20 in Palm Springs, Calif., police previously confirmed to PEOPLE. For McQueen, the nature of her costar's death made it particularly hard.

"More than anything, it's just the way that everything went down," she says. "I mean, any loss is tragic and difficult to process and you lean hard on the memories, but it's just the way that it all happened is just so hard to comprehend and process."

Recalling how they became close on the set of Extreme Makeover after she joined the series in its third season (Xol joined the show's cast for season 2), McQueen says that Xol was like a "brother" while they spent weeks at a time together on the road.

'We all just sort of found we hit it off immediately," she says. "[Xol] brought me under his wing and gave me a really safe place to figure out what I was doing and learn on the fly."

"We were away from our families and on the road for 10 days at a time where a lot of people shooting a set and you go home at night and have dinner with your family. We became one another's family for 10 days out of every month, sometimes 20 days out of every month, depending on how much we were shooting," she continued, recounting how they grew even closer as they spent time together in their trailers after wrapping up filming for the day.

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Xol even gave his costar advice on life and relationships, and was "just full of open arms and wisdom and love."

"He was like a gentleman of the highest order, could make an incredible martini on the fly, in a junky hotel room in a plastic cup, and you felt elevated and away from the work day," she continues, recalling how the pair would go to gas stations in the small towns where they were filming and buy the fixings for charcuterie boards and cocktails.

"We would hit the gas station market and he and I would pull together cocktail hour for several of the crews. That was one of our fun things that we would do," McQueen said. "But he was like a brother to me, and he leaned on me and I leaned on him."

McQueen revealed that even after she left Extreme Makeover, they stayed "very close for a long time" — but eventually lost touch over the years.

Related: Eduardo Xol of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Dies at 58 After Reported Stabbing

"He would always — at least twice a year — pop-up on my phone with a message of missing me and thinking about me," she recalled. "And I would return that email and it just is sort of we could be apart, but easily grab a phone or an email or a text and it felt just like we were right back together."

"I never heard one person ever say a negative thing about Eduardo ever in my entire life," McQueen added. "He could walk in a room and he just lit it up. The biggest smile on his face, the biggest hug. The tallest, the biggest, the strongest, but the softest."

Xol called police on the morning of Sept. 10 to report that he had been injured. He died 10 days later in a nearby hospital from his stab wounds, and a California man is now facing murder charges over his death.

A statement to PEOPLE given by Xol's family last week reads: "We are heartbroken at the tragic loss of our beloved Eduardo Xol. As his family, we know that his kindness has touched the lives of so many."

The statement added in part, "We ask for that kindness returned now allowing our privacy to be respected as we process our grief."

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