It’s just plane gross.
Jet-setting daredevils have wildly blurred the line that once distinctly divided the do’s and don’ts of airplane travel in recent years.
Others have disruptively burst into song mid-flight or fearfully alerted their fellow passengers to a “motherf—ker” that is “not real.”
And the less said about the guy who prepared a garlic shrimp dish in a germ-filled airbus lavatory the better.
But now, a seasoned flight attendant is virally chiming in with a few tame, albeit important tips on things she’d absolute never do as a cleanliness-conscious passenger.
“I would never wear shorts on a plane,” advised Cher Killough, a stewardess of five-years from Dallas, Tex., in a TikTok bulletin for over 115,000 frequent flyers.
“It’s gonna be cold, you’re gonna freeze to death,” the blonde began, noting the typically arctic temperatures on commercial flights.
“[But] say we have an evacuation and you have to go down the slide — your butt cheeks are going to be sizzled off!” she altered of the intense friction that’s sure to spark as one’s bare skin goes speeding down the nylon slope.
The sky-travel expert then encouraged vacationers to schedule their connecting flights with plenty of cushion time.
“I would never book less than a three-hour connection between flights,” said Killough. “Delays can happen for a million and one reasons. It’s aviation in 2024 — delays are kind of common.”
“The likelihood that you’re gonna miss your connection is pretty high if you’re booking shorter than three hours,” she cautioned.
And as her final nugget of winged wisdom, Killough urged folks against wiping with the bathroom tissue in an airliner restroom.
“If you examine the toilet paper, I promise you’re gonna see water droplets on it,” said the professional, “or what you think are water droplets.”
“I don’t think we can trust most men to make it in the toilet on a normal day,” she added of the stereotypical guy’s inability to urinate directly into a toilet bowl. “Let alone flying at 36,000 feet with turbulence.”
“So I just tell all my ladies to use the Kleenex instead,” said Killough.
And folks who regularly soar above the clouds were grateful for her pointers.
“Thank you for this valuable info,” praised an appreciative tripper.
“Yes to all these! I also would never wear sandals/flip-flops. I also wear gloves if I have to use the [lavatory]. People don’t wash their hands,” agreed a fellow flight attendant.
“Thank you! I very rarely use the restroom but will avoid the toilet paper for sure now,” applauded another fawning flyer.
Cabin crew members have eagerly shared several tricks for smooth and safe flying online.
At the top of the year, Delta Airlines attendant Seymon Kates scored over 10,000 TikTok views on a how-to hack video for traveling with liquids.
“If you guys like oat milk or any kind of milk or condiments,” she said, “get a breast milk bag and put your liquids in there.”
And in November, a flight attendant named Kevin, too, offered plane riders a hot tip on why they should consider forgoing a cup of coffee at cruising altitudes.
“For me, it’s always been the way that flight attendants have to clean out coffee pots,” he said. “Spoiler: they dump out the java into the toilet, and get a little too close for comfort to the bowl.”
“I imagine that there’s some kind of backsplash of particles, bacteria, whatever that goes directly back into the coffee pot, which gets put right back into the coffee maker,” revealed Kevin.
“So unless the airline that you’re flying has an espresso maker on the plane, I would not get coffee.”