From Fortnum and Mason to Fendi: The best luxury coats to keep your canine cosy this winter

If this is how cold your London flat feels this winter, get your dog a coat  (Mountain Dog)
If this is how cold your London flat feels this winter, get your dog a coat (Mountain Dog)

It’s been a tough couple of months to be a dog recently. No, I really mean that. First, there’s a summer which reaches temperatures of 39 degrees, too hot for paws to even consider touching the pavement, and parents too strapped for cash to afford personal puppy paddling pools.

Then there’s the recession, which has led to hundreds of dogs being abandoned or given to shelters due to the cost of keeping them, something Dogs’ Trust say they haven’t seen the likes of since the 2008 financial crash.

Then the temperature dropped, which would normally mean dog beds by humming radiators and coming back from walkies to a warm home, but the house has had to stay cold for reasons a dog can’t understand. And don’t get me started on the fireworks last week.

So it’s high time for a treat, if you ask me (or any dog anywhere). And not the kind you rustle about and hand out after a sit down or an offering of paw. The proper kind. A proper, fancy, cosy coat.

According to the PDSA, most dogs should be okay with just their natural coats if they’re exercising and playing, but that’s not taking into account the fact that both inside and outside are now the same temperature and paying to heat the home can cost actual thousands. So, just as it’s become integral to heat the person, not the home, it’s now cheaper to heat the dog, not the dog house.

Here are all the best coats to keep your pooch protected from the cold this winter, from big to small, long-haired to short-haired, good boy to... good boy.

For the dog who has it all

Say hello to Popcorn, in Mondog jacket (Moncler/SSense)
Say hello to Popcorn, in Mondog jacket (Moncler/SSense)

Moncler’s dogwear range, aptly named “Mondog”, offers a series of ludicrously expensive but gorgeous, high-fashion dog coats that emulate their trademark puffer coats, beloved by humans.

They’re made in Italy, fully lined, and most importantly available on the SSense website, which also lists the name, breed, and weight of the dog modelling them, so you can get the perfect size. The dog above is called Popcorn, it’s a rat terrier/Chihuahua cross, weighs nine pounds, and wears a size zero. Lucky bitch.

Red Poldo Dog Couture Edition Mondog Jacket, £430, SSense

For that Instagram-ready dog

Fendi motif dog coat (Fendi/Farfetch)
Fendi motif dog coat (Fendi/Farfetch)

Obviously, Fendi has emblazoned its iconic FF logo on dog coats, and they’re the perfect item for the fancy kind of pooch that constantly crops up in your Instagram photos, or perhaps has an Insta account of its own.

It’s the subtle kind of clout that can really up your dog-pic game, but also help to keep your canine pal cosy with its padded material and removable collar (lest they feel too constricted by their own coolness).

So you can rep the Fendi FF, first introduced in 1965 by Karl Lagerfeld, in the way he would have wanted it: astride your dog as it chases other dogs in the park to try and sniff their bums. Oh, and it’s sold by Farfetch, which is just funny.

Fendi FF-motif dog coat, £392, Farfetch

For the more modest dog

Barbour teddy (Barbour/Country Attire)
Barbour teddy (Barbour/Country Attire)

It would make sense that one of the most well-known producers of British coats also makes dog coats, and yet I’m still amazed that you can dress your dog up in a wax jacket like a tiny little horse.

However, Barbour also offers more plush and comfy coats for inside wear, including this little olive number, which is essentially like puppy pyjamas. If your house is feeling a little chilly and your dog is shaking a little too much in its bed, it might be time to wrap them up in this bad boy. It’s also cheap as chips, coming in at just £26.96 (yes, it’s on sale!).

Barbour teddy dog coat, £29.99, Country Attire

For the active dog

Ohhhh, that’s a good boy. Ruffwear Quinzee coat (Mountain Dog UK)
Ohhhh, that’s a good boy. Ruffwear Quinzee coat (Mountain Dog UK)

If you’re the mountain climbing, running, or hiking type, or maybe you just live close to Parliament Hill and consider that a hike on its own, this is the dog coat for you. It’s made from recycled, high-loft polyester insulation, has a moisture-resistant shell fabric, and it’s stretchy - so your dog can put on a couple of pounds without having to feel insecure and bloated.

Plus, the coat has a little sack within it for storage (doggy bags, keys, Scooby Snacks etc), and a reflective rim, so it’s safer to wear at night. This coat is like Mountain Warehouse incarnate, but for dogs. Also, the dogs modelling the coat are wearing matching little shoes, which is cute.

Ruffwear Quinzee coat, Mountain Dog UK, £98.95 (sale)

For the extremely extra dog

Fluffy knitted dog jumper (Maxbone/Selfridges)
Fluffy knitted dog jumper (Maxbone/Selfridges)

Why send your dog out in something sad and bland, when you could send them out looking like a haute-couture Christmas tree? This collaboration, between luxury British pet brand Maxbone and designer Christian Cowan, who is worn by the likes of Nicki Minaj and Christine Quinn, will certify your pooch as a bonafide (bone-afide, right? Sorry) celebrity in its own right. The main character energy of your walks will be enough to get you out three times a day, so thank me for the extra exercise later.

Maxbone x Christian Cowan fluffy knitted dog jumper, Selfridges, £70

For the dog that needs something a little more full coverage

The Sarah GP raincoat (The Painter’s Wife)
The Sarah GP raincoat (The Painter’s Wife)

If it’s a rainy day and you want your dog to stay as dry as possible, it’s best to invest in a coat that has legs - after all, it just means less time spent drying them off when you get in, so it’s a win-win.

Your dog can cosplay as Paddington and keep themselves bone dry in this yellow, two-legged raincoat from The Painter’s Wife, and you can feel good about yourself, too - because it’s sustainable! The material is recycled polyester, made from plastic obtained from oceans, fishing nets, and textile-fibre waste. It comes in a wide variation of sizes, too, so it can fit your pup snugly instead of drowning them in masses of material.

The Painter’s Wife Sarah Yellow GP Raincoat, woofers&barkers, £74.95

For the beach dog

Beach-drying coat (Ruff and Tumble)
Beach-drying coat (Ruff and Tumble)

This lovely little towel coat was made for dogs who frequent the beach a lot, so if you like open-water swimming or taking a dip in the sea, it’s perfect for the dog who wants to join you - and the owner who can’t be bothered to dry them off.

Ruff and Tumble’s towel coat promises to dry your dog in minutes with its two layers of absorbent towelling and soft cotton. Plus it has an extr- long neck that works as a hoodie, which can help to dry your dog’s ears and neck before they do that pesky shake-and-dry, or just make them look really cool and hip.

Ruff & Tumble Beach Drying Coat, woofers&barkers, £60.95

For the classy dog

Tartan dog coat (Fortnum and Mason)
Tartan dog coat (Fortnum and Mason)

This Creature Clothes dog coat, made for Fortnum and Mason, is the fanciest little canine coat out there, and really showcases taste without needing a fat Louis Vuitton monogram to do so. It’s tartan (a classic) and has fleece on its underside, to help preserve your pet’s warmth. Plus it straps on nicely with Velcro, so there won’t be a lot of wrestling your dog into it and attempting to fasten a million poppers.

It also has that trademark Fortnum and Mason eau de nil-coloured logo, just small enough to seem understated but big enough that other dog walkers will know exactly who’s the baddest bitch in the dog park. And spoiler: it’s not your dog.

Fortnum's Tartan Dog Coat, Fortnum and Mason, £135