Yahoo News The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Feb. 3-9)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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oh it’s a marathon not a sprint? so like, much worse??
— Amy A (@lolennui) February 4, 2024
So many people breaking up right now… Pre Valentine’s Day layoffs you might say..
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) February 3, 2024
I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
— ⒷⓊⒷⒷⓁⓎ T 🇨🇦☀️🫧 (@smileitsfree44) February 4, 2024
“I hope this email finds you before I do” https://t.co/6lpaaFBuoZ
— Jenni (@hashjenni) February 6, 2024
going on reddit for me is like going into spencers in the mall. i need to find something very specific but im uncomfortable the whole time and dont want anyone to know im there
— archivist barbie 💌 (@daiquiriheiress) February 5, 2024
“that’s why they pay me the medium bucks” always kills in meetings. that’s free for you to use any time you want, buddy. little gift from me to you
— katie (@katefeetie) February 5, 2024
Yayyy new kind of guy to rob https://t.co/JLLdpQ4kjF
— raina (@quakerraina) February 4, 2024
hey boss can i head out early i want to go play outside
— clare (@sadderlizards) February 6, 2024
that little scroll thingy that you use to select your birth year is getting kinda far
— yash (@dildoswagginzs) February 4, 2024
saying “who’s this little guy!” when friends introduce me to their boyfriends
— miss worm (@missuswormy) February 5, 2024
This is literally the “I got bored in class” hair style I’m crying pic.twitter.com/oTTwLqGs3f
— maya 🪩 (@allmychampagne) February 5, 2024
if you post a picture of your computer screen on any platform, I am zooming in. I’m looking at your tabs, I’m reading your open document, I’m browsing the desktop. im collecting data. every time
— milk chiffon (@snobison) February 7, 2024
Oh so you thumbs upped my text instead of hearting it, quick question why do u fucking hate me?
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) February 7, 2024
The opening to this email is so hysterical to me I’m almost open to being swindled pic.twitter.com/A1KVGnlVzg
— Emily Austin (@eraustinauthor) February 8, 2024
y'all "going out" attire for millennials in the 2010s was straight up business casual, girls looked like paralegals at the club 😭
— emily (@emilykmay) February 8, 2024
i hate going bowling with people who are good at bowling, like bro relax
— gen🥂 (@genmxn) February 3, 2024
got kind of choked up telling my boyfriend that i think knew each other in a past life because he is too familiar and our love is too real for this to be our first lifetime together and he goes yeah that makes sense.. Or like maybe we played on a basketball team together
— Grace (@gracecamille_) February 7, 2024
my brain at 3am pic.twitter.com/I0dUYCUa4K
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) February 4, 2024
My bf is hunting (on a work call) while I’m gathering (saving Instagram reels to show him when it’s over)
— eliza (@elizamclamb) February 6, 2024
Everyone who trauma dumped on Elmo last week has been crying about that Tracy Chapman Luke Combs duet for like 18 hours now
— Imani Gandy (Orca’s Version) ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) February 5, 2024
me watching my instagram stories https://t.co/r6cWEHtVpp
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) February 5, 2024
Is rabies real or is it a vast government conspiracy aimed at stopping me from cuddling raccoons
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) February 7, 2024
not fight, not flight, but a secret third option (making a fucked up little joke)
— trash jones (@jzux) February 6, 2024
unfortunately for everyone i will continue to share my opinions
— invader zim (@f8the) February 8, 2024
i wish my brain was this peaceful https://t.co/qaREslXK1r
— Annie Wu⸆⸉ (all socials: @annie_wu_22) (@Annie_Wu_22) February 6, 2024
Babe wake up I just discovered a new song I’m gunna play on constant repeat for the next 2 weeks
— sarah (@_surah444) February 6, 2024
abt to go to war (wash my hair)
— salma (@salmawysalma) February 5, 2024
wild how I can go on one little 20 minute walk in the sunshine and suddenly I am ‘girl who is going to be okay’
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 5, 2024
— acid reflux updates (@widelybeloved) February 6, 2024
Love when a woman is going off and she starts throwing in some “mind you”
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) February 7, 2024
Just got my first HOA slap on the wrist and now I want to take pictures of everything my neighbors are doing wrong. This is how wars start.
— Amitryptyling (@AmiEverAfter) February 7, 2024
you got a fast car
i got a plan to get us out of here pic.twitter.com/wQ6Dsp2DRg— anna (@twtrlssanna) February 6, 2024
I’m flying this week. Should I pack an Allen wrench or will one be provided by the airline?
— Andi (@smiles_and_nods) February 6, 2024
i desire a trip to the aquarium , at the end of which i am permitted to pick one toy for my good behavior
— callie actually (@eggshellfriend) February 7, 2024
