How ‘Girl Dad’ Josh Brolin Is Breaking ‘A Generational Train of Self-Destruction’ With His Own Kids (Exclusive)
"I was a little more strict, probably in response to there being no rules in my own home," he says of raising his older kids
Josh Brolin is breaking the cycle with his own kids.
Now a father of four, 56, the Oscar-nominated actor is grateful to have had "the bravery and the balls and the verve to be able to break a generational train of self-destruction into what I think exists now, which is less vices but more care."
Brolin looks back at his own childhood in an exclusive interview for this week's print edition of PEOPLE ahead of the release of his upcoming memoir Under the Truck. He says watching his parents navigate a tumultuous relationship had an impact on his own life.
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His father, actor James Brolin, 84, and his mother, wildlife activist Jane, who died following a car crash in 1995, both play crucial roles in his unique book, which he describes as coming to life "in reaction to a very colorful, albeit crazy, mother, who could be a lot of fun, and a father who was very introverted."
Brolin said his parents’ marriage changed as his father’s fame grew due to his role as Steven Kiley in the medical drama Marcus Welby, M.D and they later divorced in 1984. "I watched them go through the chaotic machinations of what it was to have a relationship with that."
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The actor found himself getting involved with drinking, drug use and fights into his teen years, and those habits continued into his adulthood. He struggled with substance abuse until age 45 when he decided to get sober after an interaction with his grandmother.
Now 11 years sober, the Goonies star relishes time with his two oldest Trevor Mansur, 36, and Eden, 29, whom he shares with his ex wife Alice Adair, and daughters Westlyn Reign, 6, and Chapel Grace, 3, with his wife Kathryn Boyd.
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The actor admits he was "tougher with my older kids" due to the lax nature of his own upbringing. "I was a little more strict, probably in response to there being no rules in my own home," he says. And lately, his younger kids are testing him "to the edge."
"My girls are strong personalities and they're testing it, and I know the test," he explains. "Kids look up to you like a god, and they think if they can break you then they're not safe."
He also shared a recent moment he had with his young daughters about bringing their dishes to sink.
"So I'm like, 'Can you please?' That's what it was this morning: 'Can you please take your dish to the sink?' And I got looked right in the eye. It was like, 'What if I don't?' And I was like, "You're f---ing three, dude. You're three."
But the Marvel alum "welcomes” his daughters’ fierceness, saying, "I love being a girl dad. I love my son so much, but I also love being a girl dad."
As for his plans for the future, Brolin says he hopes his life "becomes much more about writing and directing and having fun with these children."
His kids, and spending time with them, bring great fulfillment to his life. "It can make me cry when my children laugh; it’s the greatest joy I can feel," he says. "Like my son and I were laughing on the phone last night and we were cracking up when I was driving, and he was like, 'Wow, you're on one today.'"
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In May, Brolin shared a sweet Mother’s Day tribute to the multiple mothers in life on his Instagram.
"'Oh, Mama Bear,' one or both of our kids might have said a hundred million times. Then they smiled or hugged as if they were eating ice cream or were reacting to a favorite gift: their Mama," he captioned the post, which featured a snap of Kathryn on a boat with Westlyn and Chapel.
"My love, this learning curve is the most profound and to watch you navigate it is like watching someone breaking world records," he continues. "It's the commitment in you, the relationship with all the ever challenging aspects of it (on the daily), and there you are laughing and wondering how we can spend even more time --- our clan."
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He went on to commend Kathryn for how she has embraced their life and thanked her "for being an example of how real love endures."
Brolin also gave a shout-out to Adair for "raising the best kids ever."
When it came to his own mom, he wrote that he “wouldn't be here in the way that I am without you having thrown gasoline on the road less traveled. Thank you for some trucker personality, without which I'd be boring as all hell. Love you, crazy Jane.”
From Under the Truck comes out Nov. 19 and is available for preorder now, wherever books are sold.