'I was going to take my own life - a train driver stopped me and now we're married'
A woman has told how she almost lost her life to an "impulse" decision. Charlotte Lay's attempt to take her own life failed thanks to a caring train driver who not only stopped the engine but spoke to her until she felt better.
And now she is speaking out to help others know they are not alone. And she wants people to know the impact kindness can have on people who are struggling.
Charlotte, from Bradford, told how she set off on her train journey for work on that day in 2019 as usual. But she said there was something about it that 'didn't feel right'.
The now 33-year-old had long struggled with her mental health as a result of a traumatic relationship in her teens. She was also diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder.
But when she got off the train she felt everything was too much and she decided to take her own life. It was an impulsive decision and it could have had a very different ending if an approaching train driver had not stopped in time.
And not only did driver Dave stop but he climbed from his cab and chatted with her to give her space until she could get other help. She said: “On the day of my suicide attempt, I don’t know exactly what triggered it, but it was an impulsive decision.
"I had my uniform on, fully prepared for work but something just didn’t feel right. When I got off the train I just sat down on the platform. The conductor asked if I was okay and I said yes. Sensing something was off he asked again if I was sure and I said yes and the train drove away."
She then made an "impulsive decision" to go onto the tracks. She said: "I'm unsure who raised the alarm about my presence but when the next train came, it slowed and stopped far from me.”
Driver Dave then spoke to her for around half an hour before getting her to safety. She was then met by the police and signposted to local mental health services.
She said: “The conversation from what I can remember was just about mundane things and about both our lives, but it was enough to break the crisis. Life didn’t feel as heavy anymore.”
She added: "The next day I made it my mission to find the man who had been so kind to me. Through Facebook and some colleagues of his, I found him.
“Now he’s my husband. We got married whilst I was 22 weeks pregnant!”
Dave’s actions saved Charlotte’s life. She said: "I once asked him if he’d ever had any de-escalation training, because he was brilliant that day. He told me he hadn’t. He said he’d simply said all the things he wished he could’ve said to others before me, people he never got the chance to speak to.
“I hope that by sharing my story, people will realise that although it would be ideal if we all had specialist training to deal with a mental health crisis, we are all capable of helping by being empathic and present.
“I’m still receiving support for my mental health now, and I think I always will. But I’m so grateful to Dave for stopping that day and being so patient and understanding.”
West Yorkshire Health and Care Partnership is committed to reducing suicide rates across the region, aiming for a minimum 10% reduction over the next 5 years. They are calling on everyone to:
Check in with friends and family : Reach out and ask how they’re feeling. If someone seems low, guide them to local resources like suicidepreventionwestyorkshire.co.uk.
Take the Zero Suicide Alliance training : This free 20-minute online course teaches you how to talk to people about suicide.
If you or a loved one needs help call 999 in an emergency. Otherwise call, Samaritans on 116 123 (manned 24/7)