Gordon Ramsay's wife opens up on 'guilt and grief' after losing son

Tana and Gordon Ramsay
-Credit: (Image: (Image: Getty))


Tana Ramsay has shared the deeply felt grief and guilt she carries following the loss of their unborn son Rocky eight years ago. The mother-of-six, who has been with culinary star Gordon Ramsay for nearly three decades tragically miscarried at five months in 2016.

Despite welcoming two more additions to their family since - four year old Oscar and baby Jesse, born in November last year when Tana was 49 - she admits that having more children has sparked intense feelings of guilt over not mourning Rocky enough.

Opening up on the Postcards from Midlife podcast, Tana described the heart-wrenching ordeal as 'the biggest shock for all of us' and confessed it's something she will 'never get over'.

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She expressed: "And that's where I still suffer so much guilt. Did I, should I have known something? Should I have done something differently?", as reports the Express.

"It's one of those things that some days you're absolutely fine and you can kind of justify it. Other days, for some reason, whether it's because you're overtired or something triggers you, I can have a day where I just feel really emotional."

Referring to her experience with their baby Rocky, she recalled the unimaginably painful moment stating, "You don't expect to be holding a baby knowing that they're not going last more than an hour."

Emotionally adding: "That is always gonna be something I can never, never get over. And Gordon as well, I think, well, all of us, all of us, I think it was a real shock to everyone. I'd never had a miscarriage before that. Also, I just wanted to talk about it. And I didn't, when people sort of avoided it, you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable."

"If anyone said to me, 'Oh, I'm so sorry', it actually was really nice to hear. You don't want people to avoid it, or I didn't. "Even Oscar now, he talks about Rocky, you know, his brother in the sky or his star. And he'll come out with things like 'I really don't like him being there. Why can't he just come here?

"[Gordon] was absolutely devastated, and when it all happened, he wasn't afraid to sit and just be sad with me. We talked about it so much, and I think it was lucky that we both were very much in a space, where we actually couldn't wait to try again."

"Because I think also it would have been fair enough to say, I think maybe we don't, but thankfully we both wanted to. But to talk to the kids and to talk to each other about it was just vital. One of the hardest times actually was after I had Oscar, and he must have been about three weeks old. And I had a day where I felt so emotional."

"I think it was the guilt that I didn't think that I felt enough about Rocky because I've been excited with a new baby. And that threw me, and I remember Gordon saying to me, it was always going to hit you like this now, because we've been so in this bubble. And then suddenly you think, I felt unfair that I hadn't sort of been thinking enough or sad."

The grieving mother said: "You can never know what's around the corner with grief, and we've never had anything like that." The couple share six children together - Tilly, Megan, Jack, Holly, Oscar and Jesse.