The reason Tottenham never win anything is not only because they are a bunch of horrendous chokers with all the mental fortitude of Tim Henman in an armed robbery. It’s also because they are not able to compete financially with the Premier League’s other top clubs.
The first problem will take many years of psychological training and possibly a shamanistic intervention to sort out, but they have found a quick fix for the second problem and it’s really very clever. They are going to raise millions of millions of pounds to spend on new players by selling all their current players.
Well, not all of them – but quite a few. The Mail says Spurs owner Daniel Levy’s strategy for handing manager Mauricio Pochettino a massive transfer war chest is to flog Danny Rose, Toby Alderweireld, Mousa Dembele and Victor Wanyama.
Altogether this will net them £170m, which Pochettino will be able to spend on new players who Rose will never have heard of unless he Googles them.
True, there will be the small issue of Pochettino being deprived of his best defender, midfielder and full-back, but they can cross that bridge when they get to it.
Enrique wants Gunners to quadruple transfer kitty
By contrast, Arsenal were recently reported to have only £50m available for transfers this summer. Which is unfortunate, because the man they want to replace Arsene Wenger – Luis Enrique – has allegedly demanded a kitty of £200m to join the club.
The Sun says the former Barcelona coach requires that sum to give the Gunners a “total makeover”, including by providing Laurent Koscienly with one-on-one lessons on how not to get mugged off by Antoine Griezmann.
Whether they’ve got £50m or £200m to spend, among Arsenal’s targets will be a new goalkeeper, and German paper Bild says the man they have identified to replace Petr Cech is Bayer Leverkusen’s Bernd Leno (no relation to US talk show legend Jay). The north Londoners will face competition from Napoli and Atletico Madrid for the 26-year-old.
Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho says he deserves credit for bringing Mohamed Salah to Chelsea when he was in charge of Stamford Bridge. The Special One knew all along that the Egyptian would mature into one of the world’s best players, but he decided to sell him to Roma for peanuts anyway. Basically just for a laugh (ESPN).
Elsewhere, Gareth Bale is “frustrated” at his lack of playing time at Real Madrid but there are doubts about whether any English club could afford him (Guardian), Leicester manager Claude Puel is fighting to save his job as the Foxes’ owners plot a big-money squad overhaul (Telegraph) and West Ham have joined the list of about 16 Premier League clubs who are keen to sign West Brom centre-back Jonny Evans at the end of the season (Mirror). Not because they particularly like him, but because his relegation release clause is a bargainous £3m. Basically they’re all cheapskates.