We need to talk through this.
Sports are gone for a long, long time, unfortunately. The only thing we have right now is each other — and our cringey, embarrassing, awkward sports memories. So let's keep this train rolling.
Most of the people on this planet have played sports at some point or another, whether recreationally, organized or semi-pro. More people have not played professional sports, which is why most of us sit here and tweet and write about them.
Earlier in the week, I posed this question on Twitter:
You guys got any embarrassing sports moments? Playing or watching?— Joe (@JoeRiveraSN) March 30, 2020
Needless to say, there were plenty of hilarious responses that reminded us why we don't play pro sports and earn large, sexy contracts.
Here are some of the best responses from the Twitter roundup:
Middle school basketball game. Wide open on the wing for a 3. Called for the ball and my teammate zipped a pass to me. Ball went right through my hands hit me in the face and knocked me over. It went out of bounds for a turnover. Then I had to sub out because my nose was bleeding— Shane Magness (@Shane_Magness91) March 30, 2020
Which hurt worse: the busted nose, or the bruised ego?
I was a benchwarmer on our freshman hoops team. I only attempted three shots all year. Missed the first two, my best chance for a bucket was in the final game of the season, and I had a wide open transition layup — and I missed it. It was the last time I played organized hoops. https://t.co/iOB6EXi0Qj— Nick Feely (@nickfeely) March 30, 2020
This is worse than the GIF of Swaggy P missing the 3-pointer.
I was trying to impress a guy that I liked that actually showed up to a softball game (after hyping myself up in front of him) and welp my changeup went over the backstop. Not great. He left after that.— Chelsea Ladd (@chelseabrooke) March 30, 2020
He left? Did he go to find the ball and never came back?
Was playing left field at a 4 field complex,— Nick Rini (@njrini99) March 30, 2020
Tried throwing a runner out at home and ended up throwing it over the backstop and hit a kid on the field behind it
At least arm strength isn't a problem.
I made the last out of an inning trying to steal second...while the bases were loaded.— Tim Sennett (@timsennett) March 30, 2020
Well, if nothing else, at least you got a really good jump.
In high school, I got hit in the junk two years in a row. Once by a ground ball, and once by a short hop throw.— Jason Hagman (@Jason_Hagman) March 30, 2020
Uh … no balls, two strikes?
Hit a Grand Slam for my first ever over the fence home run in Slowpitch Softball. When I sat down to crack a celebratory beer, I was called out by the home plate umpire.— Brian Dunkel (@bcdunkel) March 30, 2020
I was too excited. I missed home plate.
My first over the fence home run became a triple with 3 RBI.
"You miss 100 percent of the home plates you don't touch." — Babe Ruth — Wayne Gretzky — Michael Scott — Joe Rivera
Walked in my first AB. The defense wasn’t paying attention so I ran to second and was safe. Forgot to ask for times and immediately got tagged out...while celebrating.— coryjsettoon (@coryjsettoon) March 30, 2020
Is it time to stop celebrating in sports? My column:
Those are bad. This is worse: tore my rotator cuff with a celebratory fist pump when the Yankees won the AL Pennant in 2009.— Shane Magness (@Shane_Magness91) March 30, 2020
Might be the genesis of all the Yankees' injury issues these days.
Pissed myself behind the plate once. Not my fault we allowed 10 runs in an innings. https://t.co/n3wx3IX88N— Ryan Morik (@RyanMorik) March 30, 2020
Well, now other people are going to pee themselves, too. By laughing, probably.
First thing that comes to mind was a baseball game in probably 6th-7th grade. I somehow lost a contact and had to play 2B. Ball is hit to me and I run the opposite way trying to guess where it is. I’m sure I looked foolish. — Anonymous Twitter user.
You probably looked better in the field than José Canseco did that one time.
Easily me in center field yelling at my high school girlfriend in the stands and the ball was hit to me while I wasn’t looking. I never picked up the ball. Pop up to center for a triple.— Gary Sheffield Jr. (@GarysheffieldJr) March 30, 2020
I hope she loved you for your baseball acumen.
Senior year of high school I had a hemorrhoid and I was in excruciating pain when I ran. I was shagging fly balls during BP and I just had to shut it down. I told my coach I pulled my hamstring. I was too embarrassed to tell him what it really was. I’m in the trainers room getting my leg messaged and s—, feeling like an a—hole because there’s nothing wrong with it. A week goes by and I still have this thing. I told my buddy the truth and I should’ve known better because he had a big mouth. Long story short, because the only way I could sit comfortably during the game was on the ball bucket, my buddy blabs it to my coach and the entire team. After the game my coach calls me over and here I’m thinking "I’m gonna get screamed at for lying about an injury" but he spends the next 10 minutes telling me how he gets them chronically and how he deals with them. — Anonymous Twitter User No. 2
A literal pain in the ass. Way to go.
I played football when I studied abroad at the Univ. of Glasgow in Scotland. I was a RB & we played on a converted soccer field w/ unclear lines. I broke a huge run, but I ended up spiking the ball on the 5-yard line. NOT COOL. https://t.co/5Gkaj1Pbrp— John C. Eustice (@johnceustice) March 31, 2020
Not cool, but definitely hilarious.
My team was once down 56-0 in high school football.....with 5:30 left in the first quarter. https://t.co/TLVagJIlTk— Chev ™️ (@ChevyReed14) March 31, 2020
Wow, so you played for the New York Jets?
I tried to race someone before my flag football game and partially tore my Achilles https://t.co/XN9adSn7Mb— Simon Rath (@HawksDraftNerd) March 31, 2020
Now I see why you play flag football and not two-hand touch.
We have a chance to become the second JV football football team ever to go undefeated in the history of our high school. Last game of the season (no playoffs for JV), against one of our biggest rivals. We're in overtime, and we get the ball first. We score a touchdown. I, the long-snapper for the PAT, send the ball flying over the holder's head. We don't convert. Other team gets the ball. Scores a touchdown. Kicks the PAT. We lose because of my bad snap. — SN's Tadd Haislop
Thank God you're better at writing about football than playing it.
Soccer tournament in 40 MPH+ wind. I was part of the wall and the wind caught the ball, I misjudged it and tried to protect my face but instead it hit me square in the groin. Fell to the ground and almost blacked out lol https://t.co/Wps7FCMHu9— gaurav vedak (@gvedak) March 31, 2020
"An absolute FIRECRACKER!"
I was playing soccer in kindergarten and I was the goalie the first game. A kid kicked it toward me and I stopped it, but I didn’t know to punt it back and I just put the ball down. Kid came and kicked it in the net for a goal. I learned quickly.— Chris Nalwasky (@ChrisWasky) March 30, 2020
See, usually in soccer, you want to kick the ball.
I was chosen for a youth clinic at the old Civic Arena in Pittsburgh, open to the public. Bobby Orr ran drills with a microphone. I was pivoting and hit a rut in the ice, fell on my back. Orr bellowed into the mic, "Well, that's what you don't do."— Derek Smith (@secondaryassist) March 31, 2020
There are worse things than Bobby Orr telling you you stink.
I’m 5’6” and a hockey goalie, I was taught being shorter come further out of my crease to cut down angles..in my JR year of HS, I came out as a player crossed the red line, he looped the puck over me, into the net, I stumble going to catch it and hit my head off the crossbar— Dave Pollard (@DaveJPollard) March 30, 2020
At least you tried to cut down the angles.
Knocked one of my front teeth out in karate and they had to put it back in place by cementing it to the other front tooth, so for a month I had one giant front tooth. Once it was fully fixed, I fell at Darien Lake and the tooth fell out again so they had to do it all again— Allan (@Really_Allan) March 31, 2020
Knocked your teeth loose in karate? Someone get this guy a DAZN contract, quick!
Bowling story: I told this girl that if she would bowl on my team for the night, I would shoot a 300. She showed up and I proceeded to throw the first 11 strikes and dumped the 12th one in the gutter. That girl is now my wife and I’ve redeemed myself a few times— Tim … (@TimUrsillo) March 31, 2020
Only thing that would have made this better is if you followed it up with, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, I AM?!"
i was once on a date watching a college football match in a bar, i went to scoot up the stool i was sitting on and the seat itself came out, my thumb went between the seat and the rest of the chair as it came down, and I broke my thumb. I had to excuse myself. she ghosted me https://t.co/ieJEkMekia— Ed Zitron (@edzitron) March 30, 2020
My singlet ripped in a wrestling match and my lil’ tag team partner was exposed. https://t.co/x6QAjxeI2d— J.P. Scott (@TheJPScott) March 30, 2020
I … don't have anything witty to say about this.
I jumped up so fast when Iowa's Tevaun Smith hauled in an 85-yard touchdown pass in the 2015 Big Ten Championship Game that I passed out momentarily and fell back into my chair.— Cody Hills (@ByCodyHills) March 30, 2020
My dad, watching with me, was celebrating so hard himself I still don't think he knows this happened. https://t.co/ts9tA7ULRS
Time to wake up, Cody. This has all been a dream, and Iowa still lost.