A gran ended up with a massive swollen face and concussion after she face-planted in the loos at a bottomless brunch.
Nat Cooper, 43, even wore sensible flat sandals for the meal at Chapo's El Campeon in Ashton, Makerfield, last Saturday , for her birthday.
But after two 'big big' vodkas and a can of Lambrini on the bus, Nat and her friend Siobhan arrived at the restaurant and immediately hit the cocktails and bottomless prosecco.
During the two hour sitting which cost the pair £35 each, Nat drank countless Porn Star Martinis and glasses of prosecco which ultimately led to a visit to the bathroom where it all went wrong.
After sitting on the toilet with the cubicle door open so she could carry on chatting, Nat fell face first to the floor, smacking her eye hard.
The poor grandmother-of-one was picked up by Siobhan and believes she had a concussion as she doesn't remember the fall or journey home.
But she has a hugely swollen face as a memento from the boozy accident.
Petrol station cashier and mum-of-six Nat, from St Helen's, Merseyside, said: "Seeing my eye the next day, I was shocked. I was frantic, like what have I done? Please tell me I've not been fighting - I'm a nan!
"I've only been to one bottomless brunch before, in Wigan, and I was sick at the restaurant before we left.
"This was my birthday day out with my best friend, so I was excited and thought I’m really letting my hair down.
"I had just come back from holiday so thought I could handle the cocktails but clearly they are not proper spirits in an all inclusive resort and these hit differently.
"Obviously, we'd had pre-drinks - two big big vodkas because Siobhan pours them like a pro.
"I got a drink for on the bus too - a can of Lambrini, because Lambrini girls like to have fun, don't they?
"We got to the cocktail place and I just started necking the cocktails.
"I was drinking Porn Star Martinis but you get a glass of prosecco as well which keeps getting filled up so you've got two drinks at a time and both my hands were full. I was like a pig in s**t.
"I had some food which was gorgeous, I think, because this bit I remember, and then shit hits the fan.
"I don't even remember going to the toilet but apparently I went and like the classy bird that I am, I sat on the toilet but left the door open talking to Siobhan and then I just flopped forward.
"If I had of shut the door, I would have only banged on the door, but I hit the floor.
"I don’t remember leaving the place or getting home. I think I had a concussion because I wanted to sleep and didn’t know I had fell.
"We went outside to wait for the bus and I was on the floor at the bus stop when a very kind stranger stopped and asked to take us home.
"Instead, we asked to get dropped off at our local pub. I didn’t drink and I still didn’t know I had fallen but apparently wouldn’t let anyone phone an ambulance and the barmaid gave me ice for my eye.
"Eventually, Siobhan and her mum pretty much carried me home and I went to bed.
"I was like Dory out of 'Finding Nemo' - I kept forgetting I had fallen and asking who hit me.
"The restaurant itself was second to none, beautiful place and lovely staff. I hope they let me back, it wasn't their fault, it was my fault, I shouldn't have been pre-drinking!
"I don't think bottomless brunches are for me!"