Grimes shares her 'training regimen' on Instagram and it quickly goes viral

Margaret Abrams

Singer Grimes, born Claire Boucher, has posted what just might be the best sponsored content of all time. Other Instagram superstars better step up their #sponcon games if they want to compete - and add a little bit of sword fighting to their fitness routines.

In an Adidas ad to promote the brand's new Stella McCartney collaboration, Grimes details her wellness routine... and it's even more bonkers than one would imagine. Though it's not clear how serious the post is, it takes a truly original mind to come up with it.

View this post on Instagram

ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regiment ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions - past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Jul 15, 2019 at 4:33pm PDT

In an imagined conversation with Adidas where the brand asks, "Tell us about ur training regiment ?" she answers, "My training is a 360 approach."

The 31-year-old Canadian singer goes on to talk about spending "2-4 hours in my deprivation tank" which "allows me to 'astro-glide' to other dimensions - past, present, and future." Astro-gliding should be the next yoga.

But that's not all. According to the 'Genesis' singer, "In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizers, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout."

This is all followed by a 25 minute screaming session with her pal Hana.

Comments ranged from "can’t believe ur giving this info away for free" from her screaming partner Hana, to "ma'am,,,,,this is a taco bell......"

Fellow musician Tove Lo wrote, "Well... I do at least 48% of this.. sometimes," and even popstar Katy Perry weighed in with, "Humidifiers YASSS."

Elon Musk and Grimes (Getty Images)
Elon Musk and Grimes (Getty Images)

Another fan responded with the spot on "The thing is I can’t tell which parts of this are serious and which aren’t." Other responses included, "Me trying to reach the word count on an essay" and "but are you joining us on Area 51 tho?"

One Instagrammer responded, "I think you spent too much time with that Elon feller."

Hopefully, her boyfriend Elon Musk joins her and an Area 51 alien for her next sword fighting session.

All while wearing Adidas, of course.

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