'I hate my husband's son - he's a walking reminder of his past relationship'

Little boy sat on a sofa looking sad
-Credit: (Image: Getty Images)


Every relationship has its ups and downs - but you can usually work through your problems with clear communication. However, one woman is considering throwing away her entire relationship because she dislikes her husband's son for 'reminding her about his past'.

She explained how she married her husband three years ago - and hasn't been able to build a positive relationship with his now seven-year-old son in all that time. Taking to Netmums for advice, she said: "I've found this incredibly difficult from day one and it seems to getting harder. I would really appreciate some advice as I know this is my issue and it's tearing apart our relationship.

"He only had his son three days a month, but for days leading up to this I feel incredibly low. I have a huge sense of dread that I can never shake. The boy is good enough, although he will not talk to me when we are alone and we have absolutely no relationship whatsoever.

"I used to think that I found it difficult because I was told that I couldn't conceive, however I am now 30 weeks pregnant and my feelings are becoming more and more intense." She has opened up to her husband about this issue - but she says he simply doesn't understand the issue and therefore doesn't know how to help.

She added: "I have tried explaining my feelings to my husband so many times, even saying that we shouldn't be together because I feel so much guilt for potentially coming between him and his son. But he just can't understand. He is very very secretive about contact with his ex, to the point of hiding texts and he will step outside to make a call, I only ever seem to know about it by catching him on the off chance.

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"So I always feel that there is a huge barrier in our relationship. I feel that he should be open and honest with me, telling me when he's spoken to her and involve me, so I don't feel like a spare part of the family. But he doesn't understand this." Not only this but she also hates having her stepson's belongings in the house - feeling like it's an 'invasion' of her home.

She added: "I just feel angry and upset at the site of his things. I worry for the future as me and my husband only have one day off together a week. So this time should be spent together with our daughter when she arrives. But I know his son will be demanding on these days and make it very difficult for us to bond as a family.

"I feel as though he has this completely separate life that I will never be a part of. I am so convinced that I should end the marriage sooner rather than later, but we are perfect together in all other aspects." Commenting on her post, one user said: "Three times a month is nothing. Try to make an effort with this little boy. Ask him his interests, offer to play some games with him.

"If it is going to affect you him being around then I think you should end the relationship because he is your partner's son and he doesn't deserve to feel uncomfortable." Another user added: "This is a seven-year-old child! I'm not surprised he doesn't want to talk to you! You have been given some good advice here, I suggest you take it and make an effort with him.

"Could you imagine if you do end up splitting with your husband over this, getting into a new relationship and your new partner feeling this way about your daughter? I hope you manage to resolve how your feeling for everyone involved's sake (including your daughter)."

A third user said: "Think you either need to really work on your relationships with your stepson (if you can't develop genuine love and affection, for goodness sake, fake it. Or leave your husband to have an uncomplicated relationship with his son, and hope whoever he next chooses as a partner will be a bit more open and caring to your child than you have been to his."