A mum was left heartbroken after her father cancelled their Christmas family gathering because his granddaughter is transgender.
Michelle Scrimgeour-Brown, from Canada, revealed that she and her family were shut out completely at Christmas in 2018 after she told her father that his 14-year-old grandchild had come out as trans.
Writing for Today’s Parent, Scrimgeour-Brown said her last face-to-face conversation with her father was on 22 December, 2018, when she told him that his 14-year-old granddaughter’s pronouns were she and her, and that her name was Layla.
Two days later, on Christmas Eve, she texted her parents to remind them before the family get together of her daughter’s pronouns and name.
“This is an adjustment, I know,” the mum wrote to her parents. “You’re going to slip up, just like the rest of us. What matters is that we try.”
Her father replied: “She’s a he and if you don’t knock if off, I won’t come.”
“I think about that text message often,” Scrimgeour-Brown wrote. “Did he really think I was going to choose him over the person I made? Did he really think that his hate – his fear, really – would be what guided my choices as a parent? That man did not know me at all.”
Anti-trans grandfather uninvited the family from Christmas festivities.
She told her father that if he was unwilling to try with her daughter, he would not be welcome in their home. He never turned up to their Christmas Eve dinner as planned, and later that evening, he made his wife uninvite the entire family from Christmas Day dinner.
Luckily, Scrimgeour-Brown’s mother was able to accept and understand her transgender daughter’s identity, and she went to their house on Christmas Day instead, leaving her anti-trans husband at home by himself.
Sadly, the situation has not improved in the two years that have passed. They initially hoped that the pain of losing his family might “soften his heart” and help him learn to love his transgender granddaughter.
“Instead, he became more and more entrenched, insisting that I was morally corrupt to allow my child to become who she is.”
Despite this, Scrimgeour-Brown said she has made peace with her father’s refusal to accept and love her daughter for who she really is.
“My kid is so healthy and so happy and so accepted everywhere in her life, with just the one glaring exception,” she wrote.
“And frankly, we don’t miss him. We are surrounded by people who love Layla, and who love us, and unconditionally support us in all the ways they can; in all the ways that matter. And that’s all the information I need.”