Help, I’ve become that cyclist on the road that every driver hates

It comes to us all eventually. Having skilfully managed to swerve the post-London 2012, Bradley Wiggins-induced cycling boom, I’ve finally given in to pedal power.

In a last-ditch bid to keep the lockdown lard in check, I’ve gone and bought a bike. I’m very happy with it. It’s a nice model which, unlike its new owner, is lightweight, eye-catching and nimble. I draw the line at buying all the gear, though. No, when I go out, it is in voluminous, standard-issue sports shorts designed, seemingly, to allow as much wind to circulate around my nether regions as possible (invigorating certainly, but not good for the MPH), while my cheap helmet is about as aerodynamic as a top hat. And there is no chance you will ever see me in Lycra. People have suffered enough this year.

Since the lockdown began in March, cycling has enjoyed an unprecedented boom in the UK, with an estimated 1.3 million people buying a bicycle in the last three months and countless more waiting for months for new stock to arrive at their local shops. Decathlon, the high street sports store, reported a 200 per cent increase in online bike sales in May, while the UK bike market is expected to grow from £842m to £3bn by 2023.

Across the country, councils are closing roads or converting them into cycle lanes. In London, Transport for London (TfL) has allocated £22.26m to 24 London boroughs to help with new, strategic cycle lanes, and they have also pledged to build 450km of new cycle lanes in the capital by 2024. In 2019, TfL’s ‘Travel to London’ statistics revealed that 700,000 daily trips were made on bike in London, a figure which they now believe could increase ten-fold in the wake of the Covid19 crisis. It is, as Prime Minister Boris Johnson said in May, “a new golden age for cycling”.

What’s not to like about getting on your bike? It’s cheap, clean and green, good for us and good for the environment. Everyone’s a winner, right? Well, yes and no.

As a relatively new cyclist, I have been genuinely surprised by the antipathy, the mutual loathing, between those on two wheels and those on four. It’s a relationship, as far as I can tell, based not on sharing the road in a considerate and sensible manner, but almost entirely on exchanging insults.

I suspect it’s my refusal to comply with the unwritten rules of the road – because does anyone on two wheels take much notice of the Highway Code?

Every time I’m out, there will be cyclists just drifting casually through red lights, taking short cuts on pavements or slaloming through the traffic whenever a car happens to be in the way. And why indicate? That would mean riding one-handed, right?

Recently, a friend of mine was knocked off her feet by a passing bike, badly grazing her leg in the process, while my dog nearly came a cropper in the woods last week when a mountain bike hurtled round a corner and came within inches of decapitating her. The actor and presenter Griff Rhys-Jones, meanwhile, has had to erect a sign banning cyclists from using the footpath that runs through his garden in Suffolk as hordes of speeding bikers use his land as a velodrome.

According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA), there were 99 cyclists killed on Britain’s roads in 2018, with a further 4,016 seriously injured, and 13,345 slightly injured. When you consider those statistics, it’s surprising that anyone, like me, can take to the road on a bike without any formal training, insurance or even a helmet.

The last time I received any kind of tuition about safe cycling, for example, was just before Margaret Thatcher came to power. Back then, it was called ‘Cycling Proficiency’, but as many motorists and innocent pedestrians have told me recently (although not quite as politely), my cycling is anything but proficient.

It’s something that’s certainly on the Government’s radar. Next month, the first 3,000 adult riders will begin free tuition under the Bikeability scheme, designed to help lapsed or new cyclists into the saddle and safely onto our roads.

It’s badly needed. When lockdown began, road traffic in the UK fell by up to 73 per cent, while cycling participation was 300 per cent above normal levels. It was heaven for those on two wheels.

But what happens now as traffic returns to pre-lockdown levels and the roads are rammed with new or novice cyclists and, as of this weekend, legal e-scooters on the roads as well?

Motorists may bemoan the loss of their lanes to bicycles, but as someone with a foot in both camps, I have to concede that it’s the way forward if we want a fitter population and cleaner town centres. It’s just the cyclists like me you need to look out for.

Five must-have cycling gadgets

1. Tenzing Clean Air Tracker

Using real-time air-quality data from King’s College, London, this mobile tracker also syncs with GPS fitness app Strava, allowing you to optimise your route to where pollution levels are the lowest while also giving you an Air Quality score for your journey.

Free to download, tenzingcleanairtracker.com

2. Linka Smart Bike Lock

Protect your pride and joy with this state of the art keyless lock, featuring an auto-lock feature that recognises when you’re approaching and unlocks your bike for you. It will also send alerts to your smartphone if someone tampers with your cycle and issues a siren warning for them to desist.

£124, linkalock.com

3. Tout Terrain The Plug III Dynamo USB Charger

This nifty dynamo converts the momentum of your bike into power for everything from your phone to your GoPro camera to your lights. Simply attach via the USB cable and get pedalling.

£139, tout-terrain.de

4. Livall BH60 smart helmet

With six red safety lights in the rear of the helmet as well as direction indicators, the Livall BH60 will also send out an SOS to your contacts in the event of a crash. Also features built-in Bluetooth speakers for music, a microphone for phone calls and walkie-talkie connectivity so you can communicate with others in your party.

£99.99, livall.co.uk

5. Nello Magnetic Bike Bell

It’s a bike bell, but not as we know it. With three different ring sounds, this weather-resistant bell attaches magnetically to your handlebars and will pump out a warning to pedestrians at an impressive 90dB.