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Hilarious Facebook Rant Highlights Britain’s Out Of Control ‘Emigration’ Problem

Fed up with closed-minded approaches to immigration and the migrant crisis, one Facebook user posted a satirical rant that has gone viral.

Claiming to be sick of the UK’s out of control “emigration” problem and written in the style of a UKIP supporter, South African born Emlyn Pearce’s status has been shared nearly 25,000 times.

“Emigration is completely out of control in this country,” he writes. “And I’m sick of it. I’m not staying quiet any more.

“You can’t walk down a street in Jamaica or Hong Kong or India without hearing someone speaking English, and in Canada and Australia we have even introduced our own legal system, decimated local communities and installed our own head of state! DISGUSTING!”

The post prompted responses from all over the internet, with most people agreeing that the whole thing is totally spot on:

However, no one has yet stepped forward to confirm or deny that there is a Greggs in the Falklands.

The full text of Emlyn’s post below:

“Emigration is completely out of control in this country, and I’m sick of it. I’m not staying quiet any more. You can’t walk down a street in Jamaica or Hong Kong or India without hearing someone speaking English, and in Canada and Australia we have even introduced our own legal system, decimated local communities and installed our own head of state! DISGUSTING!

“English has now been imposed as the official language of 57 sovereign countries! FIFTY SEVEN!!! What the hell? Who do we think we are?! And the government is doing nothing: any British person can just pack their bags and go and live anywhere in the world at ANY TIME and nobody in the British government will do anything to stop them.

“If I wanted to, I could just get on a plane to Germany tomorrow, get a job in their booming economy and live there for the rest of my life! My parents could up and retire to Spain or Portugal at a moment’s notice! Why should we have that right? It’s political correctness gone mad! (And it’s also probably, somehow, part of the war on Christmas, and health and safety and women thinking it’s ok to wear comfortable, unsexy clothing.)

“The figures speak for themselves: 1,300,000 Britons live in Australia; 761,000 in Spain; 678,000 in the USA; 603,000 in Canada; 291,000 in Ireland (11,200 of whom are drawing unemployment benefit from the Irish state), and even 8,500 in Mexico and 7,100 in Kuwait! We’re literally EVERYWHERE! I bet there’s at least one branch of Greggs in the Falklands.

“We need to close our borders immediately before the situation gets even worse for everyone else. We are sleepwalking into a nightmare where a third of the world will be overrun by the British! AGAIN!

“EDIT: To all of you really hench army guys sending me hate mail for writing this: I am gay, and I will furiously pleasure myself to your profile picture. Just so you know.”

Image credit: Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com/REX