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'Honour love whatever package it comes in': LGBT Christians on the synod vote

A demonstrator holds a placard as they protest outside Church House, during the Church of England synod in London
A demonstrator holds a placard as they protest outside Church House, during the Church of England synod in London. Photograph: Daniel Leal-Olivas/AFP/Getty Images

Ongoing division within the Church of England became apparent after its synod decided “not to take note” of a report on marriage and same-sex relationships. Those who responded to a Guardian callout say not enough is being done for gay Christians and that a split in the wider Anglican communion may be on the horizon.

The published report, which upholds the traditional teaching on marriage, resulted in a mixed reaction among Anglicans. Some were pleased the church recognised the need for “a fresh tone and culture of welcome and support” for gay Christians. Others felt it did not go far enough in accepting same-sex unions, whereas some believed it put the church’s biblical tradition at risk.

“The report appeared to sympathise with our struggle for acceptance, but it was shallow and recommended no real action to deal with the issue,” says Rachel, 23, from London, who describes herself as asexual and panromantic and is no longer a member of the church.

“It needs to stop imagining that LGBTQIA+ Christians are some kind of hypothetical” she says. “We are here, and we are hurting because the community which preaches God’s love has turned its back on us.”

Prepared by the house of bishops, the report was compiled after nearly three years of ‘shared conversations,’ which saw the college of bishops, members of the synod and Anglicans participate in discussions on how the church should respond to the changes in culture “in relation to human sexuality”.

Though there was a clear majority among those who voted at the synod, the report needed the support of all three houses - bishops, clergy and laity. The motion was narrowly lost after the house of clergy voted against it by 100 votes to 93, which means a new report is likely to be produced.

“I’m glad that the house of clergy rejected it. I long for the day that this issue is sorted and the church can move forward doing real work,” says Richard, 42, a doctor from Birmingham.

“Just like the abolition of slavery, the acceptance of women and eliminating racism, the inclusion for LGBT will happen and then we will look back in horror at these bad old days. The church needs to get their its act together and honour love, whatever package it comes in.”

But what about the future of the Church of England and the Anglican communion as a whole? Those who responded to our callout expressed their concern that the overruling vote by the house of bishops may have been an attempt to keep unity with the other member churches around the world. Not everyone who responded wanted to be identified highlighting the sensitivity around the debate. A Guardian reader, another doctor from Birmingham but wishes to withhold their name, says nothing has been achieved.

“They tell me that I must be celibate. They do not however tell me how to cope with the resulting loneliness, depression, and social exclusion,” he says.

The general synod at Church House in London
The general synod at Church House in London. Photograph: Stefan Rousseau/PA

“One can fill it with voluntary work, and hobbies but that serves merely to distract oneself from loneliness. The conservative church offered cold comfort. I realised that if I was not to fall into a depression I would need to abandon their worldview.”

Rachel, 43, a teacher from Essex was encouraged that so many found the tone of the report offensive. She says this is because members of the LGBT community were given the opportunity to share their experiences.

“There was zero chance of agreement but it turns out there was a chance for compassion and empathy.

“I suspect an accommodation will be reached within the next couple of years. People seem worried about a split. If it’s easier for one part to be administratively separate and would stop the forever bloody arguments, it wouldn’t be the worst solution.”

Following the result a letter from the two most senior figures in the C of E, Justin Welby and John Sentamu, the archbishops of Canterbury and York, was sent to its members on Thursday suggesting a “radical new Christian inclusion in the Church ... based on good, healthy, flourishing relationships, and in a proper 21st century understanding of being human and of being sexual.”

Bishops have been advised to meet with their synod members “for an extended conversation” while the archbishops and others will gather suggestions for a “large-scale teaching document around the subject of human sexuality”.

A Guardian reader who is in a same-sex marriage and out in her parish church, but who wishes to remain anonymous, says they thought about ending friendships and breaking family relationships because of the position of the church. “To hear talk about inclusion and no person being a problem in the letter was a moment that brought raw sobs” she says.