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How to be a transgender ally for Pride and beyond

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Here's how to be a transgender ally, beyond waving a flag at Pride. (Photo: Getty Images)

As WorldPride descends upon New York City this weekend, and the explosion of rainbow-themed festivities and corporate marketing reaches a wild crescendo with the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, many in the LGBTQ community are struggling to find reason to celebrate — particularly some of those representing the “T,” for transgender. That’s why it’s important for others to learn the best ways to be a transgender ally.

Factors the community is up against include the Trump administration’s rollback on trans rights as well as the relentless spate of murders and suspicious deaths of transgender women of color — including, all in June, that of Chynal Lindsey, 26, of Dallas; Chanel Scurlock, 23, of North Carolina; Zoe Spears, 23, of Maryland; and New York City’s Layleen Polanco, 27, who was found unresponsive in her Rikers Island prison cell, after being unable to pay her $500 bail following an arrest for misdemeanors.

So, as Kiara St. James, executive director of the New York Transgender Advocacy Group, which organized a recent pro-trans rally, told Yahoo Lifestyle earlier this month. “Celebrate Pride. But know that the community does not have equity.”

St. James referred to the fact that many trans women of color, in addition to facing high threats of violence, lack access to employment and healthcare opportunities.

But how can individuals outside of this demographic be supportive, effective allies? We asked two vocal advocates — Elle Hearns, founder of the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, and Ashlee Marie Preston, activist and media personality — for guidance on how to be an trans ally, specifically a black trans ally, and they offered these five points of advice:

Educate yourself, then pass the knowledge on.

Preston explains that there’s an expectation placed upon transgender women of color to spend a lot of time educating others about their reality, while also dealing with their personal daily struggles. “We just don't have the bandwidth to do that,” she says. “So, I think that the best thing an ally can do is to educate one another. Once you educate yourself, then educate someone outside of that respective community.” Some good places to start are the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, HRC and the National Center for Transgender Equality.

Lift up the desires of others.

If you’re part of a grassroots organization, particularly an LGBTQ one, Hearns urges, “make sure that you are really working to address the issues of those organizations,” rather than allowing them to get watered down. “Stonewall [Rebellion] was a very radical movement with the crossdressers there, the gender benders, the sex workers… people who are considered radically different. However, as it grew, it became more and more white and it became more and more about appealing to the white middle class. So, I think it's really important for people who want to be allies to make sure that they are not damaging sacred space with their own desires, but uplifting the desires of the grassroots people who don't have any other space to belong.”

Vote for policies that support trans women.

“If you are someone who believes in voting, but you don't actually believe in voting for policies and laws that radically change the foundation of the equity in this country, then you actually are doing a disservice to your right to vote,” Hearns says. Specifically, she is warning against voting for policies that are anti-trans, even indirectly. “Part of the reason why these murders [of black transwomen] happen is sex work,” she says. “There are trans women who don't have a choice but to exist in sex trade (and there are women who exist in sex trade who want to exist in sex trade, let me also be clear).” So if you believe in voting, Hearns says, it’s important to understand the policies at hand, including those regarding sex work. “If it doesn't do anything but lend itself back to criminalization, then you've participated in anti-black and trans [policy making].”

Leverage financial resources.

“If you even take a look at what the average black household income is in the United States, there is a huge gap. So then you have to understand how [big] that gap is for black trans people,” says Hearns. It’s why she thinks it’s important to leverage resources — whether it’s financial or educational, or a platform for getting out a message. “There are girls who are a part of my community who literally don't have a place to live right now,” she says, “or who are stuck in abusive relationships because they don't have the resources to leave.”

Preston echoes this point by noting that, when you’re in any position of power or leadership, you have the ability to help by creating “access to employment, health care, housing or social support,” or by assisting, for example, with an incarcerated trans person, aiming to get their life back together. “Pull your resources and do that.”

Consume culture made by trans people.

Finally, Preston says, support trans-based entertainment by watching TV shows and movies that are “produced by, directed by, or have leading trans characters,” because, she says, “money talks.” (You can start by tuning into the second season of Pose, on FX, or catching up on the first season, on Netflix, or by watching whatever comes out of the landmark overall deal between Janet Mock and Netflix.)

“One way to show up for black trans women or trans people in general or, any marginalized group, is to support our work,” Preston explains. “We have this idea that Hollywood is sexist and racist and all of these things. And to be honest, it is in many ways. However, the almighty dollar is king.”

Preston points to her actor friend Matt McGorry, of Orange Is the New Black and How to Get Away With Murder, as an example of an excellent cultural ally. McGorry largely uses his Instagram to highlight books written by authors who are “black and brown women or trans people…and encouraging people to read it,” Preston says. “It's a way of economically supporting those who are doing the labor of sharing their experiences.”

Bottom line, says Preston, no matter how you wind up lending your support as an ally, is this: “When you're looking to understand or to help, trust that we know what we need better than anyone else, and give us the resources and the space and the opportunity to exercise leadership for those in our community who are coming behind us. That’s the difference between a hand up and a handout. And I think, often, people often conflate saviorism with advocacy. The best way to empower a community is to give them the resources to save themselves.”

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