'I'm attending pal's wedding without my husband – he wants me to leave early for him'

Arguing couple
-Credit: (Image: Getty Images)


A woman has turned to Mumsnet after her husband "unfairly" asked her to leave her friend's wedding early.

She explained her spouse wouldn't be attending the bash, but as it was his birthday he still wanted to spend time with his wife. The dilemma left others divided, with many able to see both sides.

The wife wrote: "I have a friends wedding coming up in a couple of weeks. It's during the week and is an afternoon and into the evening do.

"DH (dear husband) is not coming, he is in work anyway but he's not a big wedding fan (and doesn't know friend well anyway). It just so happens that the wedding falls on DHs birthday.

"He asked me if I'd be gone all day, I said yes I likely won't be back until late on." The woman said her husband was not happy about her being gone all day on his special day – but she thinks he is being unreasonable.

She went on to joke "weddings (hopefully!) only occur once" whereas birthdays come around every year, and said she thought she should be there for her friend. She added her spouse's birthday "isn't a big one" and he rarely celebrates by doing anything "extravagant".

She continued: "He doesn't have family living here which I do appreciate but he will have (his) DC (dear child) with him so not alone and I have said we should do something the weekend of his birthday week too," before asking whether she was being unreasonable.

One woman agreed with the original poster, saying: "If I invited my friend to my wedding and they left early because it was their husbands (not big) birthday, I'd be a bit miffed tbh!

"If it's not a big birthday then I don't see the big deal. You can celebrate with him the next day? Can't you pap him off for a few pints with his mates?"

Another added humorously: "He's being a bit of a baby. Everyone celebrates birthdays at the weekend if they fall midweek. Does he want to play pass the parcel too?"

A third person criticised: "Oh FFS, no normal adult makes a fuss about their birthday! My husband will be away on my birthday this year (actually for a whole week) and was last year.

"This is because it's very convenient for what he will be doing. I don't care at all – good for him, I'm glad he's enjoying life.

"Go to your friend's wedding, OP (original poster), and have a lovely time."

But others were not so sure, with some agreeing the wife should make more of a fuss of her hubby's big day. One user wrote: "I would have checked with DH if he was ok about me going before accepting the wedding invite."

Another agreed: "I think saying that he's a grown up and it's not a big birthday so it doesn't matter is a bit callous. It's still his birthday. Have some empathy.

"I'd go to the wedding but make a fuss of him the day before and after."

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