I'm 'common as muck' and went to review The Nutcracker ballet at the Birmingham Hippodrome

The Nutcracker at the Hippodrome is as much an important part of our traditional Brummie Christmas as squirting ketchup on to a bratwurst out of a sauce udder, or dodging puddles of festive work party-induced vomit on Broad Street by night. So when that time rolled around again, I made a beeline for Chinatown.

As a gang of dancers with giant rat heads on their noggins swung weapons through the air at soldiers, tippy-tapping their toes in formation, I stifled a laugh. We were watching the old Tchaikovsky ballet, and the notion that some still consider the art form a 'posh' activity really tickled me.

That had been a discussion between me and my pal Em before we'd gone into the show. I'd seen the Birmingham Royal Ballet dancers performing before but she was totally new to them, expressing a minor concern that maybe she wouldn't 'get' it.

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I knew that she would. How can something so beautiful, so sonically stunning, sparkling and with no words whatsoever go over the head of anyone?

If you love music, the ballet is for you. Thomas Jung conducts a 61-piece-strong orchestra that play as important a character as the Sugar Plum Fairy or the Nutcracker himself.

You know how John Williams' 'dun dun' makes the unseen shark in Jaws malevolent? Or how John Carpenter sends a chill down your spine as you anticipate the knife-wielding Michael Myers in Halloween? This sinfonia creates the twinkling magic of snowfall, of battle, of a night's sky and of transformation.

And it's music we all know, from the little rotating musical jewellery boxes we had in the 90s to TV adverts and Christmas movies. Even if you haven't been to the ballet, you know it's most special moments like you know what tinsel is, or where the star goes on the Christmas tree; they're significant and wonderful enough to transcend the stage.

Talking of, if you love magical stage design, beautiful scenery or gorgeous costumes, the ballet is for you too. None of the fairy lights anywhere in the city can compare to how the light twinkles off the Sugar Plum Fairy's outfit.

The story itself, I should probably tell you, is a simple and easy-to-follow one (unlike this review, perhaps). We see Clara (Tessa Hogge) at a family party, getting all tuckered out from the merriment and magic tricks beside the fire and the 30-foot Christmas tree, before being transported by the magician Drosselmeyer (played at the Hippodrome by Max Maslen) into a miniature world beneath the branches.

Everything else is a dreamscape, encounters with dancers from different parts of the world, the music, movements and costumes explaining it all. You've never seen stage trickery like it and it's hard to believe that it's possible for such a small space to contain so many moving parts.

My friend Em didn't see the transitions happening at times, which just thrilled me. All of a sudden you're small, or in a brand new location, and you didn't notice the mechanics that took you there. It's extraordinary, how it brings out a childlike wonder in anyone.

That's the thing about this ballet performance. From little children to grandparents, the richly cultured to the average working class, common as muck bab like me, The Nutcracker has a magical ability to draw us all in. As Clara flew across the stage on a swan's back at the start of that second half, the gasps of pure delight spoke to it. You have to see it to believe it.

If you've ever looked at the ballet and felt like maybe it'd be too posh for you, I am begging you to change your mind. That's just a daft, outdated myth. The Nutcracker is as close to Christmas magic as you'll ever feel, better than any Santa's Grotto and more of a gift than a badly-wrapped Poundland parcel handed over by a teenager dressed as an elf.

I can't believe how lucky we are to have a world class ballet company like this, flying the flag for Birmingham. It's a present to us all. Tickets to see them are priced from £26 but it's worth seeing if you can find any deals for youngsters. The Nutcracker runs until Saturday, December 14.