'I'm divorcing my wife over something she did 15 years ago - I never forgave her'

Older couple talking
-Credit: (Image: GETTY)


This man's been holding a grudge for over a decade.

Would you end your relationship if your partner shattered your trust? For many, the answer is a resounding yes. However, things get complicated when children and a shared home are involved, as you might want to avoid causing them unnecessary pain.

This is the dilemma one man faced 15 years ago when his wife's brief affair left him heartbroken. Despite the betrayal, he chose to stay in the relationship for the sake of their twin daughters, but the wound has never fully healed.

In a candid Reddit post, he shared: "My wife cheated on me 15 years ago, her affair lasted a couple of weeks. I was really hurt at the time, but we also had twin daughters who were three, and for me, my kids were my utmost priority, and I did not want them to struggle at all.

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"So I decided to stay with wife, who followed all the reconciliation steps. It took me a couple of years to regain my love for my wife after she spent a lot of effort to better herself and our relationship. However, I had never forgotten the affair, and my wife cheating on me was always on the back of my mind."

Over 10 years on, the couple's daughters are now 18 and off to university. With his children gaining independence, the dad is questioning whether he has any reason to stay in his marriage.

He shared: "It's been 15 years now, and our marriage is not without its ups and downs, but we've also gone on vacations, do date nights often, and our relationship is still pretty romantic. Our daughters turned 18 a few months ago, and they are both in university now. I am really proud of both of them and could not be happier.

"But now that they're both in college and now that they’re independent and entering adulthood, I have been seriously considering the possibility of a divorce. As a parent, I think I have done my job, and have done my best to raise them in a loving home. I do love my wife, and if I ask her for a divorce, it will completely blindside her. But I still haven’t forgotten my wife cheating on me 15 years ago, and it will always be on the back of my mind as long as we're married."

Commenters largely encouraged the man to do what he feels is right for him. However, they urged him to have an "honest conversation" with his wife about his feelings regarding her past infidelity, as she may be unaware that he's still hurting after all these years.

One individual commented: "She might not be aware that the pain is still there, and having a truthful talk could shift the course of your relationship. After so many years, both of you have changed and grown, and maybe this conversation could lead to a new phase of understanding and mutual support. Otherwise, if you choose to move forward, you will have done so with clarity."

Another person chimed in: "I think when you become an 'empty nester', life kind of hits you in the face, in a way it doesn't when you are in the parenting thick of it. I'd say if you are still thinking about the affair, it is eating you, and you should divorce as amicably as you can, as it will continue to eat away, and that is no way to live."